- I am the Lord of thy house.
- Thou shall have no other pets before me.
- Thou shalt not ever ignore me.
- I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.
- Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time of day.
- Remember my food dish and keep it full.
- Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts for me.
- Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.
- Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.
- Above all, thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.
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