So far, my mansion has only suffered from a few overturned lamps, a model airplane overturned in which the plastic pilots did not have time to bail out of (they were not amused) and some misplaced bits of carpet during the recent "new-kitty integration". Tonight, racing around the cats (and I know who) broke an irreplaceable 1905 gas lamp glass chimney.
Being 97 years old, and hand-blown glass, it shattered into a million pieces. Out came the Vacuum Monster.
The suspect was an (innocent) 6 pound male cat, chased by an 18 pound suspect (guilty) female cat.
Now, as we have ONLY one 18 pound cat in this household, and ONLY one boy cat in this household, it's pretty easy to guess who did what.
Now what to do? I'm thinking of hiding my 1858 Perkins & House brass lamp (WITH ORIGINAL GLASS CHIMNEY) worth $1,400 dollars or more, away.
Nope... I'm not going to do it, it's a household item to be used, besides, if they break it, I'll kill 'em. (NOT) Things are meant to be used, even if they are antique. The glass smashed could have been just as easily smashed by a cat 97 years ago. Spilt milk.
A custom glass will cost $125 at least to make, if it can be made at all. Then the lamp is devalued for not having "period" glass.
Just think, the chimney made it 97 years to be tipped over by a young cat. It could have been broken by a similar cat back then.
What was it like for a cat 97 years ago? Maybe there was a close call, and this was the ironic end?
Non-cat types would be angry. "Take 'em to the pound, Godamnit!".
Me, I'm philosophical, but if they DARE touch the Perkins & House I'll kill 'em!! (NOT really 
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Copyright © Bill Mason
March 2, 2002
