There's a portal to the Mothership under our kitchen cupboard. It's the only explanation for how Penny manages to squeeze through a gap no bigger than my fist and vanish for hours at a time.

She did it yesterday when my small nieces and nephew came to visit and didn't rematerialize until we were panic-stricken that she'd escaped into the garden and run away only to be captured by cat thieves who would use her in bizarre cloning experiments, filling the world with replica golden tabbies until we were all knee-deep in shed hair. I bet while we were running round the house and garden shaking tins of cat treats and attracting all the neighbourhood cats, she was sitting in her space ship laughing at us.

Luckily, she seems to be the only one who can use the portal, else we'd have cats materialising in our kitchen all the time. Phillip's going to block the gap up with a bit of wood at the weekend just in case.

Copyright © Claire Fay
January 4, 2002