Oh dear, poor Francis. What with aliens landing (in the form of a hot air balloon), Francis thinks life in deepest rural Norfolk is taking a turn for the worse. The indignities he has to suffer…

A couple of days ago Jaws returned. For those that don't know Jaws, it is a trout that resides in the stream at the bottom of my garden. Considering the stream is only a couple of metres wide at most and is not at all deep, only knee-deep, to have a 2-foot-long trout living there for most of the year is quite nice. Jaws has become quite tame, as I feed it every day from the same spot, by the little bridge that gives access into the farmyard. When I feed Jaws, I am often accompanied by three felines who sit crouched by the edge of the bridge, peering over into the stream to see Jaws and try to figure out a way of getting a large trout out of the water and into feline stomachs.

This morning I went out with a slice of wholemeal bread, as usual, and started tearing off chunks to throw into the stream for Jaws to have as breakfast. What I didn't spot was Francis sitting at the water's edge. Jaws didn't spot Francis either. I threw some chunks of bread and they happened to land in the water only a few inches from the end of Francis's nose. Immediately, Jaws came for breakfast and broke the surface of the water, mouth open wide to take the bread. At this point, Jaws spotted Francis and was spooked. Jaws literally leapt out of the stream, flipped over in mid-air and splashed back down, swimming away at top speed, but not before soaking Francis with the wash from his splash down back into the stream.

Well, the look of feline indignity said it all. Francis sat there and shook himself all over, creating his own little shower, as he ridded himself of the water poured on him by Jaws. At this point, I fell about laughing at the sight of a feline soaked by a trout. Francis gave me the "feline look of death" for daring to laugh at him. He is no doubt plotting revenge at this very minute… I think a planned assault on Jaws by three felines is well on the cards as there is no way Francis will allow this to continue!

Copyright © Helen Simmons
May 14, 2001