You've heard of them also as Bed Mice, Pillow Mice, Bed Varmints; basically the mysterious 'idea' that cats get that something is lurking in our bed.

When I first got Imp, he used to sleep by my pillow. Well in the early hours of the morning, he would get real close to my face and start purring to wake me up. Of course I would scritch him and then roll over to go back to sleep. I curled up on my side with one arm underneath the pillow. I had a kink in my wrist so I was flexing it to stretch it out. But to Imp, the infamous Bed Gopher was lurking under the edge of the pillow. I feel Imp shifting around and suddenly he pounces on my pillow and proceeds to use his claws to kill the Bed Gopher, which turned out to be my hand. Every day I would go to school and my friend would kid me about the latest scratches on my hands and arms. That's the accidental Bed Gopher, when Imp mistakes my hand for something to kill. But then there's the 'intentional' Bed Gopher. If I lightly scratch my nails against the pillow and make rustling noises, Imp will perk up and jump on my bed to investigate. This is a cute game in the morning. He stalks the moving lump under the corner of the pillow, backs up and does his butt wiggle, and then pounces. Of course I pull myu hand away at the last minute and he lands with a "Whooomp!!" into the pillows. Now I have a cat wedged in between my pillows, digging and clawing, trying to find the Bed Gopher.

However, I have learned that with each failed catch, a cat tends to try harder, and therefore extends his claws farther. If one is not careful, when the Bed Gopher is actually caught, the result is very painful. (Believe me, I have the scars to prove it.)

Copyright © Kristi Chong, 2003