Well, I suppose it was inevitable... and totally typical of *Sir* Robbie...

Yesterday morning, Robbie went to the vet for a check-up because he has been *off colour* for a few days, throwing up after eating, and just being generally depressed and clingy. My vet, Jenny, did a thorough examination, and after extensive questioning of his symptoms etc, has concluded that he has a food intolerance. To this end, she has prescribed a diet of *bland* foods, included in which are Eukanuba Intestinal formula (dried) and Waltham/Whiskas select protein diet (wet). Her parting shot to me as Robbie and I left the animal hospital was......"they're perfectly balanced, complete foods, cats *love* them, so just feed them to everyone (i.e. all 4 cats) over the weekend, and we'll talk on Monday".

Well! I got home, and prepared breakfast... His Royal feline Lordship Tiger, Sam and Pandora, went mad. They thought it was their birthday and that Christmas had come early. They INhaled the food. Quite obviously, I was the best mum in the whole wide world for bringing them this really special kitty treat, and they couldn't get enough of it. Robbie, on the other hand, had decided that I was quite obviously trying to poison him. There was no WAY he was eating *that muck* (as he so delicately put it) and he stalked off upstairs. Make me feel guilty for not giving him a *proper* meal? He was going to make me suffer! And suffer I have....

He obviously wasn't going to eat the Whiskas, after all, that was an elaborate attempt on my part to poison him, and as for the dried, well he told me where to stick that... I tried freshly cooked chicken breast - his variation on No thanks, was most colourful, freshly steamed fish - in my dreams..... I was getting worried, because by now he hadn't eaten for 24 hours....and then I caught him! I had gone out of the kitchen, turned around to walk back in because I had forgotten something, and saw him stuffing his face full of Whiskas - and enjoying every mouthful. Little sod.

Talk about having wrapped me around his paw! I sure as hell ain't boss in this house!

Copyright © Helen Miles
November 6, 2000