I, Cap'n Pine Cone esq. announce my candidacy for Gov'nor of the Golden State. I figure that I am much handsomer and more articulate than all the other candidates for the job.

I, being a feline, am a natural champion of animals' rights, including the right to life, neutering, and the pursuit of everything that moves. I believe that all animals have the right to a home of their own. They have the right to know where their next meal is coming from, and they have the right to all the best sleeping spaces in the house. Animals should have the right to choose their fellow companions, serving staff, and visitors.

All animals should have the right to medical care. As terrifying and evil the TED [The Evil Doctor] is, all animals should have the right to see TED whenever needed. TEDs can and must make payment arrangements in order for all serving staff to be able to take their animals to them. There must be no exceptions.

All animal serving hoomins shall have precidence in all lines. There must be no delays for those snackies and toys to get home. They shall also be given preferance in all employment choices. There must be no animals without a means of support.

Finally, all animals deserve the right to sniff out the other candidates and vote for those who are animal friendly. Animal haters must not be alowed to serve the public in any form. I reserve the right to scratch and claw at all animal hating public servants and mark them for hoomins to know and advoid.

Signed,
Cap'n Pine Cone esq.
August 18, 2003

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Copyright © Pam Shirk