Last night Sasha put on a pretty good show for us. We just bought a new couch with recliners on both ends. The various critters looked it over and pronounced it comfortable. There's almost no place for hoomans. But that's okay; we share.

Anyway, I had one end kicked out and Patty was reclining at her royal ease on the other end. Sasha had curled up on her knees, Willoughby was on my lap, and Mac was holding down the middle section. We were all about half asleep, winding down from a long day of annoying one another, but at least the critters were quiet for a change.

About then the timer went off on the microwave. Supper! Patty sat up first, dumping Sasha rather unceremoniously on the floor. Unseen by me Sasha ran for my side of the room just as I sat up. The footrest on my side scooped her up and enclosed her underneath the couch. Immediately she started squalling and fighting and thumping and bumping around under there. I couldn't see where she was at first, so I just sat looking around, trying to locate the source of all the commotion.

For some reason Patty thought that was hilarious. She cackled (Are you laying an egg, Madam?) and snickered for a few minutes, then said, "The couch just ate Sasha?"

"What?"

"The couch ate Sasha!"

Well, by then even I had figured it out. I leaned back and yanked the lever on the side, and out she came, in full Halloween cat fighting mode, back arched until her feet almost touched, hair standing up like a porcupine's, ears flat, mouth wide open and lips drawn back, slashing with her claws in the general direction of the couch, and spitting and snarling and really giving it what for. But I also noticed she was rapidly retreating at the same time.

I noticed this morning she gave my side of the couch a wide berth, jumped onto Patty's side, and only then came over to my side and got in my lap.

There ought to be a sign on the footrest that says, "Here there be monsters."

Copyright © David Yehudah
November 19, 1999