Flippy's Cat Page - Cat Expressions

CAT EXPRESSIONS

When telling a story about our cat, words are sometimes
inadequate to describe their funny actions. Why?
I think it is mainly because cats have an unbelievable array of
facial and body expressions that can be indescribable.

Here are some expressions that could be interpreted as:

"What in the world are those big hairy creatures? DONT YOU DROP ME!" (As Velcro clings to my father's shoulder and looks down at the two dogs.)
"The dogs don't NEED all the gravy in their canned food" (As Velcro meows and paces back and forth.)
"Sit still - I missed a spot" (Velcro likes to wash/groom her "boys" hair.)
"Oh, is that your pizza? How did my claw get into that?" (My cat Sugar says as she tries to take pizza off the plate.)
"Back off, puppy!" (as Velcro walks right in front of Kita the Husky.)
"You may now FEED ME!"
by Vada Dillon

"Look sis, they're not bad, they have central heating, the food is good - don't blow this gaff for us please!" Redunzel's expression when she is watching Sarrasine playing up seems to be saying this.
by Lesley Madigan

"OmiGod! There's bloody dogspit in this!" Debussy, leaping backwards, having discovered/imagined that Akita-dog, Shima, has had a sip from the water bowl.
"Look, sport, possession is nine points, or nine lives, or whatever. I've been on this bed since you got up this morning." Debussy when I want to go to bed at night.
"Meeaaauw, meeaaauw (at 5-second intervals when he decides it's food-time). You're an old bloke and how do I know you haven't got Alzheimer's and will forget if I don't remind you like this ?" Debussy, twice EVERY day, until his bowl is down there, on the deck, and full.
"I do not wish to know that. Or you." Debussy, pointedly sitting down with his back to me whenever one of us has done the wrong thing.
"Boss, get that bloody dog out of my way. She's persecuting me." Debussy, having made a long and complicated detour to get the dog between him and wherever he's headed for.
"It says D-O-G on the label, you blind old fool. Put your bloody specs on. I'm a C-A-T." Debussy, when I carelessly run out of cat tins and try to fob a dog one off on him.
"Hey look, Boss, it's really lousy paint on this door." Debussy, scratching from inside.
"Hey look, Boss, it's really lousy paint on this door." Debussy, five seconds later, scratching from outside.
"Hey, Boss, try some of this rat for breakfast. It's delicious. Well, my half was, anyway." Debussy, waking me at first light.
by George Silberbauer

Can we have a cartoon cat to look after?
by Gregory Mark

I'm not gonna go fetch the darn toy, so stop buying them already!
Humans... who needs them?
Why do I have to wear these dumb flea collors anyway?
I don't care what others cats say, I LIKE the water.
by Katy Dufur

Hey, that's MY toy! (When the dog has the cat's toy.)
Feed me, you human!
Where did this wall come from? (When the cat runs into the wall by accident.)
But I only wanted the fishy...
The toilet is way bigger than my dish...
But the dog broke it...
The dog is EVIL I say!
I shall have my revenge...
by Rebecca Majors

"But Mommy! I want to type on the keyboard, too!" (two of my cats just love to traipse on my keyboard - I'm a writer so I'm at the computer a lot).
"That's my shrimp. What d'ya mean I'm a vulture?"
"I can't wait to get outside. Sooner or later, they're going to come in, unsuspecting, and then I'll slip out before they know I'm gone."
"Back off puppy! That's my food!"
"How dare you bring that puppy into my house!"
"I almost had that luscious lizard! How dare that invisible wall jump in my way!"
"The dog did it!"
"Bad kitty my ass!"
by Elaine Hopper

"But I am giving the mice a drink! I always put my toys in my water dish..." (When I find Blanca's toy mice in his water dish.)
by Roger

"Clean my catbox!" (when Gumbo decides the catbox is dirty, he takes a big dump on the kitchen floor right by the catbox)
"Feed/water me!" or "Daddy forgot to feed/water me"(they like to get beside their bowl and meow...)
"Leave me alone" (when Sadie shakes her tail)
"Throw it!!!" (Sadie will bring a toy, drop it in front of me, and just look at me)
"Back off, I'm the alpha cat!" (they like to slap each other)
"Go away, kid!" (my father-in-law's cat, Sushi, does not like kids...and she'll smack them if they touch her)
"PET ME!" (anytime they get on my lap and purr)
by Jennifer Stafford

"It's about time you changed my stinky litterbox in the corner, you idiot!" (when I change winters littler box in her room, she looks at me enough to say that.)
by Heather V.

"Buhh!" (when little Momo used to jump by surprise near the shoulder of our guests on the coach to give them a fright).
"No, No, No, why should I do it" (when I asked Momo to sit before giving her a treat).
"Bitch!" (when slapping me on the face for having tried to put some drops on hear ears using force -the only way!)
"NOW! HOW DOES IT FEEL LIKE?!" (jumping on my shoulders and biting me on the back of my head after I held her tight by the back of her own head to remove a flea)
"Can I have some, please, my dear cutey-pie?" (when Momo use to walk on my shoulders purring and rubbing my face with her head, up to my mouth, while I was eating something nice)
"No, I didn't do it, really" (after having pissed on my thesis)
"I was only looking" (when we switched on the light at night after hearing noise and found her exploring the place soon after we got her, about 3 months old)
"Now, I GOT YOU, you filthy mouse!" (a paw appearing in between the armchairs, catching my arm)
"Ey! Come on! Pay attention to me!" (when Momo slapped my cheeks with both of her paws because I got interested on TV and stopped playing with her)
"I love you so much!" (when she looked at me with clear loving eyes while standing up to give me a cuddle and rub my face with her head as I leaned on her).
"Lift me up! Lift me up!" (following me everywhere in the morning and standing up to reach me).
"Come on, lets have a BALL together!" (when she brought mice into the house and let them loose so I could try and catch them too in close collaboration)
"Mmmh..., interesting this new perspective of your facial patterns..." (when Momo lied upside down on the couch, looking at my husband's face for half an hour...)
"You saw nothing!" (when Sacha fell quite badly from the table and yet he pretended he was ok, walking away with his regal attitude, but truly hurt I was making a fuss of it)
"I am the boss, you wait there cos I own your food" (Momo eating the dog's food while he'd look at her starving and hopeless from a distance)
"Gotta she what's in there! Gotta she what's in there!" (Pedrita jumping into the toilet without any hesitation when she was only a little kitten).
"It's all mine! ALL mine!" (One of the kittens with her paws around the food dish bullying everyone, even her mother!)
"Hi!" (Ups! Momo jumping on my shoulder all in a sudden, out of nowhere.)
"The last one is silly!" (all five kittens jumping on the table on a race to get at my soup).
"Umm..., whom will I bother now..." (the boldest of all the kittens, waking up at six o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, and looking around at the rest of his peacefully sleeping siblings choosing his victim).
"Got to touch it!" (Sacha stiking his paw into my glass of water at dinner time).
"I'll try just one" (Sacha, grabbing a spaghetti from my plate with one of his paws after having stared at me eating them for a while).
"Wow! this is truly amazing!" (Momo standing to look at the running water when I flushed the toilet..., or when exploring a new room)
"Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing!?" (Momo moving her head left and right staring at the picture of a cat in a book).
by Maria Escribano

"You are so immature, do you really think that wiggling finger is going to attract my attention?"
"GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME"
"This food is unacceptable, who do you think I am? This is pet food! I want human food!"
"DON'T MOVE" (growled when I try to move from underneath him on the bed or chair)
"Oh my gosh it wasn't me I swear I am so sorry!" (usually followed by the submissive act of flopping onto his back with his legs in the air and squinting his eyes)
by Starsign

"If YOU think that muck is so yummy, YOU eat it!"
"You stopped!!" (Look of total shock and disbelief when I stop the brushing because I'm in danger of getting RSI.)
"Open that linen press - I wanna kick towel!"
by Heather

"If it's not Fancy Feast, I don't want it." (Chloey)
"He started it." (Chloey - getting caught swatting at Grizzly)
"She started it." (Ranger - watching Chloey get caught swatting at Grizzly)
"Daddy said I could." (Grizzly - sitting on the table eating leftovers off the dinner plates)
"She's MY mom." (Chloey - always wanting me all to herself)
"Clean the litter box...I have to use it NOW." (Chloey - the princess)
"MOMMY'S HOME!" (Chloey - watching for me out the front window when she sees me drive up!)
"What'cha buy me? What'cha buy me?" (All three, plowing through the supermarket bags when I get home)
"What's this crap? YUCK!" (Chloey, noticing anything but Fancy Feast being put down for her dinner)
by Judi M.

"Will you please turn that child down!" (When my baby granddaughter Bethany is visiting and starts to cry.)
"Of course it's clean laundry. I wouldn't sleep on it if it wasn't, would I!"
"But I want to cuddle under your chin like I did when I was 6 weeks old. Is it my fault I've grown so you can't read your book?" (Panther, convinced he's still tiny!)
"No, I'm sorry, you are sitting down, therefore you need a cat on your lap."
"I hate both of you!" (Jemima, when Panther is on my lap.)
"You are so cruel and mean to a poor defenceless little cat like me! You won't even let me sit on the table while you are eating."
"Just don't come near me, OK?" (Growled by Panther when they are given a specially nice tidbit, even if Jemima is nowhere near him at the time.)
"Open this drawer now! I want to sleep in it!"
"No, I didn't actually want to go out, I just wanted to look out with the door open."
"I think my butt smells lovely, don't you?"
"YOU LEFT ME!!! No, it's no good kissing me now, I'm sulking." (Jemima, when I get home from work.)
"You're opening a can, it must be cat food. OK, so it's cat food disguised to look and smell like beans. Give me some!"
"What do you mean, it's the baby's pram? I don't see any baby in it!" (Both of them, when I wanted to take Bethany for a walk in her pram and found them curled up in it together.)
by Jan Russell

"What, fresh fish for tea? I love the fish sticks swimming underneath me in the tank."
"I want a cuddle. NOW." (Usually when sitting on the toilet.)
"My name is not Jayd, stop calling me that. It's Koojo the lord and master of my yard and the next 6 houses on either side".
by JAYDON and co.

"Hey look! The dog has eaten my food!" (After eating it all and then pretending that the dog stole it.)
by Stuart George

Sasha: "You TURNED ON my PILLOW and now it's making HORRIBLE NOISES. No, I don't care that you want to use it to print your syllabus. And what the heck's a 'printer' anyhow?"
Robin: "You ZIPPED ME INSIDE THE DUVET COVER, you nincompoop! Just for that, I'm STAYING in here."
by Kate Alexandra Lingley

Peace's Catty Quotes:
But I WANT to learn how to type. Why else would I walk across the keyboard?
Nice bedspread...but it could use some more cat fur.
Let me in NOW!!!
Hey!!! The bathtub water tastes better than the stuff in my bowl!!!
But you might drown in the bathtub if I don't watch you every second!
I am the best.
My septic system is clogged. Either call a sewage worker or clean the litterbox.
That siamese keeps bothering me. PLEASE either tell him I'm spayed or call the Pet Prison (animal control).
But I HAD to attack him.
You had better not adopt that calico kitten. It's embarrassing to know that she can hunt better than I can. (Hmm... Wonder if she does classes.)
Cats are the best.
I'm gonna scratch your eyeballs out! (So far, she's only been able to knock my glasses off, but I'm still careful around her when she's mad.)
EEK! A PING-PONG BALL! I MUST CHASE IT AROUND THE KITCHEN!
Yes, I'm cute, but I'm also WILD. I'm WILD. (Peace when she was a kitten.)
I will now run around the house for no apparent reason.
Hey, look, my scratch pad is broken because you stepped on it. I NEED to use the couch.
What did I want to go outside (or inside) for? (This question is usually asked when she's standing next to an open door.)
Get outta here...NOW!
Here, birdy.
That bird cannot see my black-and-white fur in this green grass. I will slowly sneak up... (ten-minute pause) Uh-oh, he got away. Next time I'll go faster.
HEY!!! THIS ISN'T MY NORMAL CAT FOOD!!! (This is only yelled when Peace thinks the food is yucky. If she LIKES the cat food, then her response is more like the next quote.)
Feed me some more or I'll find some way to operate the can opener.
I see the moths have chosen a sacrifical moth to send into this house to applease who they think is the "Cat Goddess". NOW I shall have some fun.
The tabby did it.
I KNOW the chicken isn't fully cooked yet, but that's never stopped ME before.
It's MINE.
YOU GOT MY PAW (or tail) CAUGHT IN THE VETDOG DOOR!!! ("Vetdog" is considered a VERY bad word to cats in most parts of the world. To humans it sounds like "MEEEEEEOWWWWWW!!!")
Let me in NOW!!! (Yowled while hanging on the doorknob and ripping the daylights out of the weather stripping.)
Don't say I didn't warn you!
I sure hope this ice I'm standing on doesn't melt!
What do you mean, "get off the table"?
I didn't do it.
PUT ME DOWN, YOU VETDOG!!!
Hey! It's mine!
But I HAVE to leave a little bit of cat food in my bowl for later.
But I LIKE to put the tip of my tail in the toilet bowl.
That goes for drinking out of it, too.
Okay, so I did do it. But I did it so you wouldn't have to get any blame.
Scratch me behind the ears (or on the sides of her neck, or under her chin).
No belly rubs, please.
Okay, you asked for it.
NO.
Bad human.
I hate you.
Okay, I don't HATE hate you, I just DISLIKE hate you.
Well, I don't really dislike you, it's just that I TOLD you not to rub my belly, but you rubbed it anyway.
I will now do my loud Cat Rock Mew-Sic.
But I LIKE sleeping on the computer monitor. It's not MY fault they're made so my tail hangs down in front of the screen.
Feed me.
Good human.
And now, a little Cat-Er-Wal Mew-Sic!
What did you want to do THAT for?
Lemme 'lone.
I changed my mind.
You will pay dearly for giving me a bath!!!
It's YOUR fault this time.
I PROMISE I'll be good while you're gone. (Don't belive it.)
Time to make noise!
I'm taking a NAP!
Well, YOU'RE one TOO! (Meowed when someone calls her a rascal or something.)
I am a bottomless pit. FEED ME.
I will now attempt to bury my pill under this tile floor.
It's STILL mine.
Let me OUT!!! (Said while trying to scratch the glass in the back door.)
Jerk.
What're you lookin' at?
I see you!
AHHHH!!! IT'S ANOTHER CAT!!! (Peace as a kitten again, trying to find the "other cat" behind the mirror.)
From now on, it's ALWAYS your fault.
Sez you!
Just TRY to find me! (Spoken from a very high place.)
It's MINE, it will ALWAYS be mine, and you will NOT touch it!
Double jerk.
Well, I really HAD to do that. Sheesh.
I hate her.
Time to sing some opera!
It's MY turn! (It always is, with cats.)
It's my JOB to beat up the kitchen rugs! (Yeah, right.)
I shall now lick my rear.
Triple jerk.
I am a cat. It is therefore my duty to stare into space for no reason at all.
Watch me catch this bug.
I will now put my cold, wet paws around your leg.
Stop doing that.
ATTACK!
Quadruple jerk.
No, I did NOT push that kitten into the water. She FELL. (I still don't know if she's telling the truth.
Did I do that? Come, come, I wouldn't do anything like that. (She'd do something WORSE.)
Because I SAID so, that's why.
Liar. (She says that when we tell her that she can't do something. She always does it anyway.)
I am going to do something bad, and I won't tell you what it is, nanna nanna na na!
I did something bad, and I won't say what, nanna nanna na na!
I will now find some little kittens to surprise.
I KNOW that's a bad word you just said. That's why I'm going to the top of the freezer. (I just wanted to know why a certian word was bad, and I made the mistake of asking Peace. She gave me "The LOOK of Extreme Badness" and went up.)
That's the THIRD TIME you've tried to kick me out of your bed, but I'm STILL not getting out.
by Peace the Cat and the NETpet.

"I am not getting out of this suitcase until you tell me where you are going, how long for and who is going to mind meeeee"?
"Thanks for leaving your closet door open, but don't you think it's about time that you got a new cashmere sweater for this shelf ? There is a heap of hair on this one!
"You could have warned me about the Grandchildrens' impending visit, I should have a planned a more dignified retreat!"
"I shall get out from under the bed if you send that child home"!
by Fay Foster

"Don't bother me at 3:00PM...I'm sleeping now so I can wail all night and keep you awake." - Banshee, preparing to live up to her namesake.
"I Hear and I Obeyyyy....." - My wife whenever she sees a cat tree or toy that I tell her we aren't buying. She's in mental contact with our cats at all times. Needless to say, she buys it despite what I say.
"I don't care if you're in the army...that boot is where I keep my toys!" - Stache putting her toy mice in my boots.
"Is that your dress uniform..here, let me shed all over it for your inspection today." - Both of our cats feel I need to have cat hair all over my dress greens.
"You aren't leaving here until you PET ME! (Or feed me)" - Stache when I'm late for work.
"You...are...going...to...pay....dearly....for...this!!!!" - Either one of our cats when we get back from the vet.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" - Stache and Banshee when they first saw the neighbor's dog. (The first dog they ever saw.)
by D4

"Please not now! I just bathed myself!" - Matilda, after an extensive cleaning session.
"I just want to give a whip at it, not drink it!" - Malu, getting into my cup of coffee.
"I told you to wake me up before your touch me!" - Matilda after biting my foot when I accidentally touch when both are asleep.
"Where is my milk?" - Malu when she sees pouring cream on my coffee.
"Meow! The hell with it!" - Matilda, responding to a blasting thunder with an Olympic jump from my room windows from where she loves to watch storms.
"Didn't you put it on the sofa for me to sleep on and shed hair?" - Malu, when I catch her sleeping on my coat.
"Do you think I would go in there after that blubbler ball has been there?" - Matilda, staring at me, after Malu goes to the litter box.
"Why are you doing this to me? Don't you see I want to take a nap?" - Matilda, looking at me with slanted eyes.
"Hey, what about a little hug?" - Malu, with a fixed stare.
"I am going to get you for stepping in my territory!" - Matilda, shaking her butts as if she were going to rumba (I think she overdoes it, she likes the movement better than the chase) ready to fall on Malu.
"Purr, the dumb one ate all the little balls, get me some fresh one!" - Malu, coming to me after Matilda ate up all the dry food.
"Hey, don't you think it is time to turn the TV off and go to sleep?" - Matilda late at night, if I stayed to watch a late movie, poking her legs on my chest, sitting on it and stretching her paws around my neck.
by Ralph Rewes

"Excuse me! I feel neglected and it is time to play fetch [ahem] right now....." - Simba, bringing his mouse and dropping it at my feet. Then he stands on his rear legs, puts his front paws on my knees, swats at whatever I'm reading, and gives a petulant "meow".
"I'm thirsty and I want a drink of fresh water so turn on this faucet now or I start flinging things off the counter!" - Standing near the faucet and saying "maow maow".
"Well?! Throw it already!!" - Putting his mouse at my feet and giving a (honest!) deep sigh.
"I didn't see you put fresh food in my bowl this morning!!! I want! I want! I want!"
"Our agenda has changed. My health regimen demands two hours of play time right now or you will get no sleep tonight."
"You know, now that the lights are out and you're ready for bed, I really do see a serial killer in the closet...."
"Ah, I know. What you really mean is that you are very sorry for leaving me in the morning to go do human things and now you will be happy to play with me."
by Poison Arrow Frog

"I'd like to go now, but this litter pan is not clean enough." - Spoken with a wrinkled nose.
"I love you, but I'm not going to the vet today." - Spoken from the most unreachable place in the room.
by Starkitros

"Dog? What dog? I don't see any dog." - This one is usually partially vocal.
"Doesn't this bedspread (or garment or other piece of furniture) set off my coloring beautifully?"
"How could you possibly be angry with someone as cute as I am?"
"How dare you come into the room without speaking to me?"
by Joy Gaylord

"I can make you blink before I do."
"Fix the weather."
"I dub thee..."
"We are not amused."
by Mary Spears

"Yes, I know you're holding the door open, but I just haven't made up my mind yet."
"I saw you get the cat carrier out, and no way am I coming out from under this bed."
by Barbara Pattist

"Hey! It's cold out there, do something!" - This look and plaintive meow from a cat who wanted out but didn't like the snow and the cold weather.
"Get this kid off me!"
"Hey, I'm not finished with you. Don't stop petting me."
"Human hands are for petting cats. Anything else they want to do is irrelevant."
"You know I'll be back there as soon as you'll turn your back."
"You want me to do what???"
"Why did you do this to me?" - From an adult cat in reference to the new acquired kitten.
"Why are you bugging me, I'm sleeping. Your name's not written here anyway."
"Doing this to a poor defenseless cat!" (Yeah, right! So why do I have claw marks all over my hands and arms?)
"What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine!"
by Nath

"You couldn't be saying no to me???"
"How dare you pet me when I didn't give permission."
"Where does all that water come from?"
"Fish? No, i just like the view from the top of the aquarium."
by Terri Crawford

"Who invited you in?"
"Get lost, I'm dining."
"I don't want to be stroked, OK?"
"Try it, Rover. Just bleedin' try it!"
by MacDiarmid

"I'm not going in there after him." - In reference to sharing a litter tray with another cat.
"Just get the tin open."
"If you don't feed me I am going to lie on your head." - Morning call.
"I don't care how big you are."
"Do you honestly think I am going to play with THAT?"
"It's my sofa too."
"I was here first."
"Why on earth was that bath filled with water?"
"I think it's a lovely decapitated starling."
"No don't throw it away ... it was a present."
"Will you turn that noise down?"
"Who invited you in?"
"I don't care if you mind me sleeping in your handbag."
"You deserved that bleed."
"If I wanted the rocking chair to be moved I would have asked."
by Carol Brown

"I meant to do that."
by Chris Vander Rhodes

"I am but a poor defenseless animal."
by Claire Swazey

"I am such a horribly neglected animal. You need to pay attention to me."
"I want to play. Now!!"
"I am the absolute king of all I see."
by Pam Wheaton

"Back off! I caught it." - When I feed them. (Usually followed by taking a mouthful of food and spreading it over the floor to be eaten.)
"You've come to play with me." - Whenever I enter a room they're in.
"And where have you been all day?" - On my return from work ... they wait and the front door for me ...
"I dont know what you're eating but I want some."
I told you to stop stroking me... Next time I'll draw blood!"
by Tim Bluck

"Don't laugh -- it's not funny."
"I'm starving here - you never feed me." - With my male, usually accompanied by a total flop/collapse on his side, meowing pitifully.
"But -- you got that shrimp (or chicken) for ME! Right??"
"Yo - Woman - it's bedtime!"
"Watcha doing? Can I help?"
by Sandy

"You cannot see me! I'm hiding!" - In my case it's usually a black cat in the green grass.
by David A. Thomas

"Who me?"
"With this face, tell me, could I have done something like that?"
"The dog did it!"
"You have GOT to be kidding."
"Mommy... PLEASE don't leave us!"
I'm dying for a bit of bird meat!!!"
Make him stop it - NOW."
Oh yes, that's the spot - yes,yes,yes,yes!!"
"You are feeding me that junk?"
"I am desperately hungry..."
"Would you please turn the air conditioning on."
"I am freezing here, turn it off, please."
"Don't bother me now. I'm sleeping."
"Rub my tummy."
"So you think I am going to pay attention to that?"
"Ey, you, will you please open the door."
"My restroom is filthy."
"Never mind."
"Would you open the window, I want to catch a glimpse of the outside world."
"I wonder what life's all about."
"Hey, that other stupid cat is bothering me. (I started it but she bothers me now.)"
"I already drank twice from the water bowl. It is time to pour some fresh water on it."
But I want to drink from the dirty puddle.
"That's my side of the bed."
"Who gives you the right to decide when I go out or come in? ... if only the tables were turned..."
"I can't believe you're eating your dinner and not giving any to me ... I am such a good kitty and I deserve some too."
"Hey, I`ve just woken up. Where are you, mate..?" (mrreeeoowww...?)
"Home from work? Feed me!" (wrrooww!!)
"Yawn... Just woken up. Hey! I`m sleeping on you!" (rowwPrrrrrrrrrr......)
"Been out! Done things! Fought HUGE enemies and protected the whole house from absolute destruction! Pay attention. Now. To me. MEMEMEME...." (wowrll...?)
"If you don't feed me right now I'll starve to death!"
by G. Phillips, and others

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