I've decided that cats must have a special relationship with their catflaps, based on the amount of amusement that seems to be caused by these simple devices. People don't have half as much fun with their doors as cats do. I've been lucky in that Shylock and Falstaff have learnt to use the catflap really easily and with a minimum of training. When they were younger, they could almost fit through the catflap at the same time - I say almost, since everything would be going fine, until their hips got level with the catflap and then they would get wedged for a few seconds, back feet off the ground, one cat trying to turn right out of the cat flap, the other trying to turn left, before something would give and they would pop out of the catflap and be off racing round the garden.

Other catflap antics I have observed include:

• The deadly art of catflap fighting - imagine one cat on each side of the cat flap, taking it in turns to flip the cat flap at each other's noses.

• The concertina effect - cat tries to exit via locked catflap, before he realises that it is locked, his back feet keep walking, and the cat literally becomes concertina'd against the catflap.

• The missed catflap syndrome - exhibited by the cat that tries to enter at high speed, and due to the speed, misses the catflap. This is usually noticed by a loud thump against the window that contains the catflap, followed by a few seconds of silence, followed by the sound of the catflap opening very slowly, and a cat staggering in with bluebirds flying in circles around his head.

• The frozen catflap - one winter, the catflap froze shut. Cat was madly scrabbling at it, and couldn't understand why it wouldn't open (this had been preceded by the concertina effect). Other half eventually had to do his "police raiding a house" impression and kick the catflap open with his foot - observed by a rather confused cat, who was rather grateful to be let out.

Copyright © Rachel Craddock
August 11, 2004