Coffee Bean

Apart from the "That's exactly what I meant to do" look you usually get, there are several others, one of which I received this morning:

Scenario - wake up, three cats surrounding my head, looking down at me (forget alien abductions and "grays", alien dreams are hungry cats projecting torture dreams at their people..), because, my fault, they'd eaten all the food overnight.

Get up, wash, cats are now "as one" with my ankles, presenting major tripping hazard. This continues down the stairs. Then the casual saunter into the kitchen, as if to say, "well, we were going here anyway... Oh? Breakfast? What a co-incidence, well, if you insist mate...."

Feed cats. Open venetian blinds in living room, start to watch "Big Breakfast" on TV.

Black & white blur past settee. Scrabbling sounds. "Oh-no," I think, "What now?"

Coffee Bean is trying to squeeze through blinds, to get an inch closer to the window, watching the birds. Venetian blinds are not happy, cords straining, me remembering the cost of the blinds (£120, three years ago. Blinds are being used like the climbing frame in Full Metal Jacket.)
I shout: Coffeeee!!! NOOOO!!!

The Look: Body stops movement, head turns insolently slow. A cat grin: "Well, I'll stop for the moment, if that pleases you..."

Grab shirt, wallet, rucksack. Now late for train. Exit house, lock door, walk down path. Look back:

Little white paw seen through blind, pulling it apart. And then, I swear, she winked at me.....

And tonight, instead of the venetian puzzle I expected, everything was normal. Coffee Bean sitting on the back of the settee, a smug look on her face, MESSING WITH MY MIND....

Bloody cats.....

Copyright © Ezz
May 15, 1998