Flippy's Cat Page - Signs you are a Cat Lover

SIGNS YOU ARE A CAT LOVER

You know you are a cat lover when...

You always call your cat his full name around him.
You constantly write poems for school about your kitties.
The name Mr. Skipper Jenkins is so easy to say it just comes out sometimes.
Whenever you hear the name Cody you freak because it's your tuxedo boy.
When people say your cat is fat you look around to make sure he isn't in the room before defending him he's big but in proportion.
You meow so well you confuse kitty.
You hear even the slightest scratching at the door and you fling it open to make sure that your furry meow meows are all right.
by Michelle Smitten

Your entire wardrobe for the week ahead is based around what items you can get out of the washing basket without waking the cat asleep in it.
by Lesley Madigan

Dodging around cages and stepping over toys (in every room) doesn't strike you as inconvenient. Or even unusual.
You're so used to the one that sleeps around your neck that you nearly go off to work "wearing" him (happened to me!)
You do a remarkable fandango any time you feel anything remotely tail-like under your foot, trying not to step on it.
Your usual sleeping position resembles an Egyptian hieroglyph, trying to fit around all the cats in the bed.
Someone asks if you live alone and you blurt "Oh no, I have six cats!"
The vet, the rescue group, and the shelter are the first three speed-dials on your phone.
Every magnet on the fridge is a cat, pawprint, or spay/neuter motif.
Your car weighs an extra 5 lbs from all the rescue and spay/neuter stickers and magnets.
Your car weighs an additional 20 lbs from the trap, carrier, gloves, cans of food, bottle of water, food dishes, newspaper, towel, etc stashed in the back "just in case".
You autopilot to the pet-food section of the supermarket even if you don't need any.
Every T-shirt in your drawer sports a rescue or spay/neuter logo.
You have no opinion about birds per se, but you keep a bird feeder going to entertain the cats.
You buy a vehicle based on how many traps or carriers it can hold.
Your wardrobe is coordinated around your orange wristband (feral cats) or your purple one (animal abuse)
On a cold morning, you wake up under a combined weight of 35 lbs or more.
You wake at dawn to feed everyone without a murmur, but Heaven help the telephone caller that wakes you before the alarm does.
Even if you have varicose veins, they're hidden under all the nicks and scratches on your legs.
You routinely mishear your spouse in the same room, but you can hear a faint kitten mew the length of the house. And you can tell which kitten said it.
You can tell who climbed onto the bed in the dark by how much or little the mattress sags.
The furniture is arranged so the seniors can still climb to their high spots, and to heck with how it looks.
When you announce "Bedtime, everyone", you've got about 10 seconds to jump in if you don't want to wind up on the edge.
You can pick a random hair off your clothes and name the cat it came from.
You can pick out a sofa in 20 minutes, but pore over kitty 'furniture' for hours.
You usually choose plastic grocery bags at the store, but every so often you choose paper so the kitties will have a new one to play with.
by Kestrel

You wish you could bring your cat to the store so they can select their own tastes. Wishing there were samples available for them to test.
You dread taking them via cat-carrier to the Vet because you know they are either going to vomit or poop because they are upset and this makes you feel very badly for them.
You can't sleep because one of your cats is out all night and you keep getting up to see if they are at the door.
You feed your neighbors cats because you feel sorry for them.
And you even make a little house on your deck so they can have a warm dry place to sleep. And you can't let them in because it would cause a cat fight because your own cats would not appreciate intruders.
You talk to your cats with voices that sound like their particular "meows" and you have all sorts of nick names for them that they respond to. And never talk to them in a normal tone but it has to be baby talk.
You load them with affection and even kiss them.
You won't make up your beds if any of your cats are sleeping there because you don't want to disturb them. Or even run the vacuum cleaner until they are up and about.
You look at pictures of your precious ones that have passed on and even weep a little because you miss them so much.
You brag when you can say, "My cat is 20 years old" and is healthy.
You let them decide whether or not they want to go out or come back in when they are just sitting there staring at the door. And you are tolerant when they pretend they are coming in and then run away as fast as they can even though you are in a hurry to leave because of an appointment. You simply wait until they come back for more games and then you trick them into coming in with a goody.
You know when one of your cats is wise to you when you try to coax them downstairs with some food and they run under tables so you can't get to them because they do not want to leave the area until THEY are ready. So you let them decide.
by Tish K.

When people meet your two all-black cats for the first time and they ask how you tell them apart, you respond in shock, "What do you mean?? It's soooo obvious because Sarsi is a little smaller and has some bald patches and a heart shaped face, and Dunz is heavier set with big gold eyes that look like two gold coins shining at you. And of course the other way to tell them apart is Sarsi is the one climbing the curtains and Dunz is the one looking on in shock.
by Lesley Madigan

You let your cats eat whatever they want (including what you're trying to eat from your plate).
You let the cat sleep anywhere on the bed including on you or your pillow.
You spend most of the time talking to the cats and the dog instead of any human company (and they reply back).
You spend more on their food than yours.
You let the cats into the shower with you.
Everything you own is covered in cat hair.
You get excited when your "babies" do something new and make sure you tell everyone.
You face your fear of snakes and run for the cat holding the snake with a spade in hand (and in the process break the neighbours fence).
You refer to the cats and the dog as your "kids".
You intentionally spread out all your important papers so the cats have something to sit on and chew.
by Alannah Priddle

When your cat walks off you go with him and get him when he's bored, then you give him lots of love and attention to make him feel better.
When it's raining and your dad won't let you bring the cat in (grrrrr) you go outside calling his name in the rain.
When your cat looks sick but isn't you let him in when he's not allowed in anyway, and put him on your best jacket.
by Kirsti

You let your cat eat whatever [cat food] he wants.
You get him his own groomer.
You let him love you.
by Rebecca Majors

You use the smallest space on the bed because you don't want to disturb kitty.
You buy him his own king sized bed.
You don't let him watch cartoons because you think they're not stimulating enough.
You choose your girlfriends/boyfriends by whether your cat likes them or not.
You give kitty a perm. (Joke!)
You order a gym membership because you worry about his mental damage of the other cats making fun of him because he's fat.
by Jessie Johnson

Your cat requires medication two times a day, and so do you. The cat gets her medication like clockwork exactly 12 hours apart like the vet said, though you cant remember the last time you took your own medication.
You tell your husband if there is ever a fire and you are not home, he should look for the cats before getting out safely.
You have a fire emergency plan set up incase you have to evacuate the house with the cats, and you have practiced it so you will be ready.
You don't feel at ease leaving your husband home with the cats and dogs becasue he is not as attentive as you are, you call him several times to make sure all the babies are fine.
The cats have their own room, and a twin bed with nice blankets that they sleep on during the day. At night, all four sleep in bed with you and your husband, and you contemplate going to sleep on their bed for comfort, but you can't becasue you are surrounded by sleeping beauties!
At night when you are trying to get comfortable in bed, you feel as if you are playing cat Twister.
by Dara Keenan

You name your cat a word you can not say in anger.
You give your cat bottled water only.
by Ed Bortny

Your husband agrees to fetch the drinks, fetch the snacks, fetch your book etc etc ("I can't, cats on my lap") knowing full well that when the cat gets off you have to repay the favours to your husband ten-fold.
You automatically awake at 3:00AM just to hear if the ginger tom from up the road is popping in for a visit through the flap.
You have to type with one hand because the other hand is holding the cats head up off the keyboard just enough for you to reach the keys underneath.
You say to your dog "Aren't you the bestest boy in the world" then race to find your cat to say "Aren't you the bestest girl in the world" because you couldn't bear to say it to one and not the other.
by Claire Wood

You keep the babies' favorite movie "Life in a Sea of Sand" on the TV forever so you can play it whenever they want.
You choose your grocer based on who's got the best price and selection of Fancy Feast.
You never get mad at the babies and they never stay mad at you.
At bedtime, whichever cat's not already in bed, you carry them to bed one at a time, in order of seniority.
You modify your wardrobe and it has become second nature. Three white cats means heather gray has become your new black. [sigh].
You use a nightstand with a drawer tall enough to hold a little glass of water and a wind-up alarm clock because you can't leave anything actually ON the nightstand anymore. Or you can have a little bottle of water and set it on the floor by the bed.
You don't even notice anymore that you have been trained by the cat, you just coexist happily.
by Janet Fink

Your cat meows when he wants to go into another room, and you pick him up and bring him where he wants every time!
by Tony Pimpo

Your husband announces one day, "I think if the house were on fire, you'd get THEM out and leave me to fend for myself." You respond, "You're damn right I would--YOU know how to operate a door knob. THEY don't."
You know your dad is converted when he-who-did-not-allow-animals-IN-THE-HOUSE-when-you-were-growing-up now allows HIS cat to get on a chair at the breakfast table to receive bacon from Dad.
You train your cats to respond to a small brass bell (a la Pavlov's cat) because you know it may someday save their lives (it DID for two cats--one lost by a previously-trusted cat sitter who didn't even notify you, and one hit by a car before they became indoor-only cats--sound of a ringing bell carries farther in the air than your voice).
You still sometimes cry over the ones who went to Kitty Heaven 5, 7, and 21 years ago.
Any time you meet someone who says he/she loves cats but is allergic to them, you EAGERLY tell them about your allergic friend who learned that if she bathed her cats every three weeks like clockwork, she could have them AND became a successful breeder of Persians!
by Suzanne Carpenter

When shopping for clothes you try to match the color of your cat's fur. (Sigh... I really miss black...)
by Ina Gher

You ask for scratching post/kitty condo/new id tag for your baby for your birthday.
You spend money that you received for your birthday to get your "son" neutered so he can go outside.
Your partner tells you that he wants you to leave and you say "fine, but I'm taking the cat"... you know he's a cat lover because that hurts him more than the fact that you're leaving.
You cry because your baby doesn't seem to like his new home that much.
You get hysterical and sob when your baby goes outside for the first time and doesn't come back until 10:30 at night.
by Amanda McMahan

Your Siamese has been toilet trained and it's a race in the mornings to see who makes it to the bathroom first. It's usually the cat who wins and you have to spend what seems like forever dancing on one foot while your kid takes his own sweet time using the toilet (swear to God, this happened to me). When a friend asks, "Well, why didn't you just push him off?" You're horrified at the very idea! How inconsiderate!
by Linda Marlene

You insist on showing everyone 'baby' pictures of your cat.
You get your cat his own email address.
You cancel a trip away because you can't bear to leave him alone (even though the neighbours will feed him).
If you have to go to hospital you drive the doctors and nurses crazy by telling them all the time "I've got to go home to Oscar."
While you're in hospital your doctor feeds your cat because she know you won't stay unless you're sure he's being cared for properly and you know the doctor 'understands' and will look after him.
You sit up because he's asleep in the middle of the bed and you don't want to disturb him.
You leave the TV on for him when you go out so he won't get lonely (which confuses visitors who call while you're out and can't understand why you don't answer as they know you must be home because they can hear the TV).
You let him scratch all the furniture if it makes him happy because you can get another sofa, chair etc but you can't get another Oscar.
You let him put fur all over the chairs and insist visitors put a towel on the chair before they sit down telling them, 'Oscar sheds a lot.'
You collect his fur when you comb him.
You bore your friends by telling them how wonderful and clever he is.
Everyone in town knows you have a cat and that he's a Persian named Oscar
Everything you own, including all your clothes, has fur on it.
You buy natural spring water for him to drink because he doesn't like town water (you drink town water).
by Grace Tolson

When you make your Will out to them (as long as they share the good times with the two greyhounds).
by Patricia Ettritch

You refer to your cats as "the babies".
You go without certain grocery items so the "babies will have a new toy."
You tell EVERYONE who walks through your door, and wants to call your 17lb baby" fat", "don't use the F word, he knows what you are saying and is very sensitive!"
You and your husband give up room to roll over in bed in lieu of the cats' complete comfort.
On a purrfectly good night to go out, all you want to do is sit down with a great movie and the "Babies".
by Andrew Hutchinson

You wake up with an aching back because kitty was sleeping on your stomach all night and you wouldn't think of moving her.
You not only feed your cats Science Diet and Fancy Feast, but you give it to the strays too.
You defend and feel bad for the cat at the shelter where you volunteer who swiped your hand, puncturing the back of it and nicking your tendon (even though you can't make a fist and you're told it will take months for this injury to fully heal).
You take in two strays even though you already have three cats and "technically" there are no pets allowed in your apartment.
When people meet your two all-black cats for the first time and they ask how you tell them apart, you respond in shock, "What do you mean?? It's soooo obvious! First of all, Ernie's tail is slightly fatter than Belle's. Second, he's polydactyl. Third, her coat is a little shinier than his. Fourth...."
You let your all-white cat who loves to jump in your arms and be held like a baby do it whenever he pleases no matter what you're wearing -- even if it's that red or black dry-clean-only silk sweater.
You love to sleep late but you drag your butt out of bed extra early to feed your kitties and the stray that usually comes to the back door in the morning.
In addition to treatise on where to find everything and what to do, you leave the pet-sitter a photo of each of your cats with his/her name, likes and dislikes, favorite toys, etc. etc.
You get jealous and upset when, after you've gotten up early to feed the cats and now you have to get ready for work, your furry babies finish their breakfasts and climb into bed to snuggle...with your fiance.
You desperately want to change the channel but if you lean forward to get the remote from the coffee table, you might wake the kitty sleeping soundly in your lap!
When you open the newspaper and your cat jumps on the counter and rolls around on it rendering it unreadable, you laugh and kiss him. Meanwhile, if a person got between you and your morning paper be pissed!
When you pick up your photos, the clerk at Walgreen's gives you a look that says, "Gee, another 24 cat pictures developed. How shocking. What's that? 50 rolls? 100? I've lost count."
As per above, you vow that the new roll of film you just put in your camera will not contain any cat pictures. Okay, almost all of it will be non-cat pictures. Okay, at least half the roll will not be cat pictures. Okay, you'll take at least five non-cat pictures. Oh well, there's another roll of cat pictures finished...
You scarf down your cereal so you can give the sugary milk left at the bottom of the bowl to your cat as quickly as humanly possible. (Can't make sweetheart wait, now can I?)
Your human love gives you flowers and you promptly put them in a vase on top of the refrigerator where you can't really enjoy them but at least those toxic buds are safely out of kitty's curious reach.
You apologize profusely for:

vacuuming
closing a door -- any door
getting home from work late
administering much-needed medication/eye drops/ear drops/etc.
smelling like other cats (from the shelter) or dogs (brother's)
laughing too loud or a having coughing fit
feeding the skinny cats "lite" food because of their fat brother and sister
taking down the Christmas tree

After discovering the joys of cat ownership, you try to convince everyone you know -- even life-long cat haters -- that they should adopt a cat.
by Becky

You think you spot a dead kitty on a busy road in rush hour, slam on the brakes, turn on hazards, re-direct traffic, (or try to) and retrieve the kitty with your bare hands, empty out your best purse on the car floor, and place him/her in it, rushing home at almost 70 mph or to nearest hospital for proper burial. (Unfortunately this happens to us all.)
You work 40 hours a week for your local cat homeless shelter, without pay, thinking it's your way of paying back the feline species.
by Jill M. Tricco

You refer to yourself as "Mammacat" because you raised one of your babies since she was 1 week old.
You change the words to songs (My Bonnie, e.g.) and replace with your cats' names.
When you quit your job you need a huge box to put all of the "babies" pictures in it.
You own cat furniture for the precious ones, and their furniture is nicer than yours!
You tell "cat stories" at work instead of stories about your children or grandchildren.
Your co-workers know the names of all of your cats, but struggle with your childrens' names (see above).
Your children are jealous of your relationship with your cats.
You no longer take vacations because you can't stand being away from your "babies".
You take your cats with you to visit your daughter two hours away because you can't stand leaving them at home with your husband who ignores them.
by Mammacat

You let them sleep wherever they wish.
You feed them the best brand you can find at Petco.
Your cats are chubby (Hehe...)
by Elizabeth

You are waiting for your order from the "Value Menu" at a fast food joint, with a 17 lb. bag of cat litter ($22.95) and a 12 lb. bag of cat food ($24.25) in the back seat.
There are only four things in your house that are not store brand, bought on sale, or second hand:
1. Litter Maid automatic litter box.
2. Cat toys (Includes furniture)
3. Premium cat food
4. Premium cat litter

You spend several hours on the Internet researching, then drive 140 miles to purchase the product you have determined should best suit the needs of the your masters.
The humans you choose to associate with do not find this behavior odd or excessive.
You can tell which cat is under the bed by the width of the inch of tail showing.
You do your weekly shopping in 10 minutes at one store, except for the six places you check to find the "right" Kitty Litter.
by Dave C.

When I go to fetch the second photo album, the Jehovah's Witness lady say's "Gosh, they are so lovely, but I really have to go now ..." (True, witnessed by my neighbour this morning.)
by Stephanie

You take your car to be professionally cleaned, and you just *have* to put some cat hair back in it.
by Bill Mason

You greet all cat lovers at the office (a mental health center) with loud meows, who cares of the patients think they're hallucinating or you're crazy!
You must turn the speakers off on your work computer lest the psychotics that come in and search desperately for the source of the meowing in your office (it's my computer cat!)
You have more pictures of your furry angels than your spouse or human family. (As quoted in The Age)
You make kissy noises at home to the cats so frequently that spouse gets jealous.
You can't sleep at night if spouse is too near you or if cat is not close enough to touch your face with her delicate paw.
You become a pagan so that Bast will (hopefully) grant more protection to your furry angels.
You often wonder if you would feel worse if you accidentally hit a child or a cat with a car (and know you would feel worse if you hit the cat).
You don't understand why your spouse gets upset when there is cat hair in his food.
You have given up a fabulous apartment because they threatened to evict you if you didn't get rid of the cats.
You preach to all about the evils of curly ribbon and dental floss as your cat died from ingesting such.
You want to be reincarnated as one of your own cats!
by M. de Avila

You feed the cat by spoon when he turns up his nose at his dish.
You let the kitten/cat climb and sit on your shoulder, no matter how much they use their claws.
You push your partner away, but let the cat nibble on your ear.
You can identify which kitten it is by just a paw sticking out of the carrier in the back seat of the car.
You have your kids call the cat(s) their brother(s)/sister(s), and they do.
When you make quilts/blankets for your human kids, you make one for each of your cats so they won't feel left out.
You buy special "cat" design fabric for the cat's blankets.
You buy expensive wool pads or pillows for your cat(s) to sleep on.
You spend hours at cat sites on the web, just for fun!
by Amy Bills

Your cat gets killed and you want to go with her.
by Maria Escribano

You write a book and dedicate a web site to your cat.
by Sharon Doenitz

Your human child announces the impending birth of his first child, you run and tell the kitties they are going to be uncles and aunties in a few months.
You share your breakfast milk with the kitties before you finish your cereal, because they like Weetbix too.
You go away and the kitties are allowed to sleep in your bed, but the friend who is staying to look after them has to sleep on the couch.
by Lee Purdal

You kiss the 'babies' on their little mouths and tell them... "aaah, what a cutie-pie you are", and you watch your partner make a funny face!
You take them shopping with you in your basket, and say "shall mummy buy you some tuna?"
by Cookie

You have fifteen cats and:

You can remember every name/nickname (yes I do)
You remember each foible, habit and favorite play toy (and remember to keep a pool of water going for the one that likes swimming!)
You let them all sleep in your bed (and sleep on the couch so you don't disturb them *LOL*)
You let them keep their pet possum... and the other two kitties they adopted.

by Jacquie Bates

EVERY TIME you see a cat, you become very 'maternal' and say 'oh, pusshy pusshy pusshy!'
You start sobbing because you think your cat has just died when he was actually so deep in slumber that he appeared to have stopped breathing...and he wakes to your sobbing and stunned face.
You let him 'dive bomb' on the bed very early on a Saturday and Sunday morning, and settle purring loudly right between the two of you.
Your boyfriend (now my husband) buys you place mats and matching coasters, decorated with cats, as your first Christmas present.
nearly every birthday card you receive has cats on it.
Your friends and neighbours ask how/where your cat is, before they ask after your husband.
You wake up in the middle of the night having heard a noise and race to see if your cat's alright.
You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of your cat puking on your husband's side of the room and then jump out of bed to clean it up so your husband won't be woken by the smell, or accidentally step on it in the morning!
Most of your neighbours offer to care for your cat while you and your husband are away, and whoever is chosen is willing to come over beforehand to go through the cat feeding and care routine (and you still leave a detailed written note for them just in case).
by Fran

You give your cat a Miss. in front of her name. Like she's her own person. (Which she is of course.)
You refer to her as your furry daughter.
You can't think of anyone truer or bluer. People included.
You count the minutes till you get home you get home from work to see her smiling face. (Yes she does smile.)
You have to make a choice between cat and boyfriend. Miss Bean won paws down!
You will only date a male your cat approves of. That it how I got engaged to my cat loving boyfriend. She is an excellent judge of character.
she receives and sends her own cards. Birthday, holiday, for fun.
You never know what it is like to have your own tuna sandwich to your self.
You have a little box of whiskers she's shed over time. She's 9 now. Lots of whiskers, but each one is special.
You go to a certain store to get her the paper she loves to sit upon and shred, and the only way you can get it is by buying something that you don't even need or want. I've tried other stores and papers. Go figure...
by Beanneko

You get the whole street to form a search party when your cat is more than 10 minutes late arriving home.
Talking on the phone you always say hello from the cat.
All your Christmas presents are related to cats.
You send birthday cards from you and the cat.
by Leah

You ask "does my big precious goozy handsome man want a cup of tea", and then have to explain to your husband you were talking to your 7.5 kilo ragdoll kitty, NOT him!
Hubby sits in his chair at night and lets his favourite of the four tutty tats knead him endlessly with CLAWS OUT and he doesn't say a word.
You are sitting at the 'puter and all you can hear from somewhere in the house is, VERY loudly "moww moww"... You reply: "In here puss," ... "moww moww"... "In here Puss", and then you find yourself going and getting the offending screamer and carrying him in so he can surf with you, draped over the keyboard. (All this after telling your daughter you're busy and can't be disturbed!)
by Rae Rodgers

Your cat has "her" side of the bed and "her" pillow. She only lets you share it with her.
You follow your cat's "routine" at bedtime. Mine will snuggle with her back to my chest and on her side, with her head on "her" pillow. She then raises her top legs, and I have to wrap my arm around her, hand on her ruff, forearm on her tummy. She then wraps all four chubby legs around my arm and purrs herself to sleep. "Spooning" is in her contract, after all!
Your Mom comes to visit for the weekend, thus taking her side of the bed, she defends her turf with a vengeance. Hissing, ankle biting, and death-glares are all open options.
You get a sandwich and potato chips from the local deli, your cat ALWAYS gets a chip on her own plate. She will meow loudly when she is ready for you to flip the chip so that she can lick the other side. The flipping ends only when the chip is too soggy to maintain her interest.
You clip coupons like a fiend for YOUR grocery items so that you can afford to feed the Little Darling super premium cat kibble and keep the cat pan stocked with the best litter available.
Your cat has been to both the vet and the groomer more often than you have been to either your doctor or hair stylist.
taking your cat to the vet or the groomer, you line her carrier with an old sweatshirt or blanket with your smells on it, and place in it a few favorite cat toys for good measure.
Making a tuna salad sandwich *always* means sharing.
You don't get upset when your cat floats an air biscuit (i.e. farts) within inches from your nose. Even though your eyes are watering, you think it's cute. And you thank God that she doesn't pull the covers over your head afterward!
You wouldn't sell your cat for a million bucks. The welcome-home party that she graces you with when you finally come back to her, by itself, is worth so much more!
by Leslie

You smile and say thank you when you are offered a gift of a dead mouse and then sneak it into the bin later so as not to offend your cat because if she sees you disposing of it you will hurt her feelings!
You ditch your boyfriend because your cat doesn't like him! (my cat is a VERY good judge of character)
When your husband says "either that cat goes or I do" and you choose the cat. (I really DID this)
You buy expensive lamb sirloin for the cat and cheap beef mince for yourself.
Your cat sends (& receives) Christmas cards from your relatives.
Being a well brought up young lady, your cat writes "thank you" letters for above mentioned cards.
by Heather

You sleep on the couch downstairs with the pregnant cat instead of in bed with your new husband of one month, in case she starts having the kittens in the middle of the night and needs you.
You buy peanuts 25 lbs. at a time to feed the squirrels because watching the squirrels amuses the cats.
You feed leftover steak to the stray kitties that hang out in your yard.
by Andrea Dent

Your D&D character winds up as a cleric, you decide that she worships Bast (and complain to the DM that the "Deities and Demigods" manual must be wrong because it lists Bast as a *lesser* goddess. You know your DM is a cat person when he agrees and upgrades Bast to a *greater* goddess).
You have difficulty finding an apartment, because finding a good litterbox location is such a challenge.
You buy a bigger bed to make room for the cats.
You let your cat choose your accessories or what movie you're going to watch next.
while assembling materials for a cross-stitch project, you hold a floss bag up to the cat's face and ask "does that look like black to you?" [seriously, I *did* this once! He didn't answer me, though.]
You choose your bubble bath by which one the cat has expressed a liking for.
You refer to going to the bathroom as "using the litterbox".
You do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair.
You consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber.
by Seanette Blaylock

You ignore Mummy's threats of being scratched, and pick up Rudolph (when he's almost as big as you) for a cuddle, regardless.
as a three-year-old you manage to get approval to go off by yourself to a distant hill to join the cat, cow bone in hand, on a hunting expedition for rabbits (without getting any, of course!)
You DO feed the stray.
You leave the window open in the middle of freezing winters so that kitty can come and go as she pleases.
the only reason you tell her off upon arriving home to find bits of bird spread from one end of the hallway to the other, is because if anyone else caught her chasing birds, she might get into big trouble!
You arrive home and find TWO monstrous dead rats in the house, and you're actually proud.
You don't mind when she wets your lap at the beginning of a seven hour car trip because she didn't know that she should have gone beforehand.
You allow your kitchen nook to be turned into a colosseum, and only take pity on the mice occasionally.
You go to visit friends, just so that you can pat their cat.
You cannot go past the gorgeous Burmese in the window down the road without giving them a pat through the glass and, as per Midnight Express, they respond enthusiastically!
by Catherine Denney

Your cat has health insurance and you do not.
You take your cat to the kennel and leave six emergency numbers.
by Diane A.

You are all stressed out and frustrated at the end of the week and you beloved kindly and sincerely asks "If you could do anything within reason this weekend, anything you like, I don't mind, what would you like to do?" and your reply is "Curl up in the comfy chair with a good book and the cat in my lap". (You know your beloved is also a lover of cats when he doesn't act terribly offended at being left out of the picture and actually nods in sympathetic understanding.)
You get "Happy Mother's Day" cards, and your SO gets "Happy Father's Day" cards "signed" by the cat (and the dog in our case).
You'll obediently get out of bed at 6:30AM on a Saturday morning to feed the cat that just woke you up for breakfast, but abuse the hapless individual who rang you at 9:30AM on the same morning for waking you up at "an ungodly hour". (this a true story)
You keep apologising to the cat about you getting the dog.
by Vicky Chapman

You go early morning fishing on a freezing cold rainy day and the first and only fish you catch is for your cat.
You moan and complain more than the cat does when the vet is checking his temperature.
You're not anrgy even after the little bugger has left his calling card on your tyres and air vents on your bonnet along with series of deeply etched scratches where he needed a little extra grip... you just say he loves my car too and do your best to befriend a panel beater or car detailer.
by John

There are more presents under the Christmas tree for your cats than for anyone else.
You go with out milk in your morning coffee because there was only enough left to split amongst your cats.
You don't want to get up to answer the call of nature because kitty is sleeping on your lap.
You don't believe a word of a compliment someone says, but you feel SO flattered when their cat pays attention to you.
You feel jealous if, while someone comes over the cat rubs against them and they pet it. (You feel like they're stealing your cat's affection!)
by Sandra

Security comes banging on your door at 2am to tell you to get out because there is a fire in the building, and only 3 things you grab are the cat, a jug of water, and your boots, in that order, leaving behind wallet, checkbook, insurance papers and the 'puter still online.
the woman at the checkout notes that you must be a cat person when there is not one cat item in the cart. -- It's those darn scratches! Dead give away!
it is a week until payday, the cupboard is bare, all you got is 10 bucks, and you spend 8 of it on cat treats and toys.
You are carrying a basket of laundry and sliding your feet along the floor because you can't see where the cat is and you don't want to step on him.
You cook 2 chicken breasts instead of the one so the cat can have his own, and you season them both HIS way.
You give up your very-favorite-always-use-mosquito-repelling-bath-oil because the cat is allergic to it and won't come near you for hours after you use it.
You sit on the sofa because the cat is sleeping in YOUR chair.
You can't get on the internet because you are unwilling to disturb the sleeping cat on the keyboard. (Do you know what long haired cat hair DOES to a keyboard?)
ROFL means wearing cat hair because the vacuum is plugged with matted cat hair.
You let yourself be adopted by a long haired stray KNOWING that half of your friends are allergic and will never set foot in your home again.
by Reggie

You have perfected the art of writing without letting the other end of the pen move, because you know that if the cat knows you are writing he will come and try to help by eating the pen.
You start "meowing" at people in the office or at class, and are surprised that they don't understand.
Your boyfriend is glad to see you get out of bed in the morning, because it means that the half of the bed formerly occupied by you will now be occupied by the cat - and you don't take offense.
by Cassandra

You take the cat's side over the kid's in all arguments.
You always go through the cat food aisle even when you don't need any pet supplies to see if there are any new cat toys.
You turn on the electric blanket on the unused side of the bed so the cats are comfortable as they sleep.
by Pam Shirk

You have half your paycheck automatically deposited to the vet's account, and half to Petco. It's just easier that way.
You buy a paper shredder not to destroy confidential documents, but because the cats LOVE a big cardboard box filled with shredded paper.
by Mnheyjo

You have on your desk at work only one picture of your hubby but yet you have a mini photo album of your furry babies.
You bring three kitties with you to England from Hawaii, put them through quarantine and claim that the $5000.00 spent was just one big lump-sum child care payment. (I really did and said this!)
Your 20 lb. 12 year old "son" pees on your leg whilst you are using the toilet and claim that he's only reacting to the newest "baby boy" in the family.
by Deeanna Martin

You get a present wrapped with a bow and ribbon and you think "The kitties are going to love playing with these later!"
You get up at 3am and you do the "kitty shuffle" to the bathroom so as not to accidently kick or step on anyone.
by Dee

You hear the birds outside the bedroom window and put kitty there to watch.
You save a little milk at the end of cereal.
You spend more time shopping at the pet store than at the clothes store.
You go shopping at the local warehouse store and get boxes, not to carry the groceries but for the cats to sit in at home.
You buy clothes that the cat hair won't show as much on.
You are watching a movie and take a snack break, you come back and ask the cat if they found the body yet.
You are most comfortable reading a book sitting in the chair with two cats sleeping on your lap.
You know what cat it is just by the meow.
You sleep in half of the bed, because the other side is the kitty's.
by Rosemarie Blanchard

You rush the cat to the vet because she "just doesn't look right", but you still have that annoying cough from a month ago.
You decorate your email site with kitty graphics, and believe people that complain, "just don't get it".
You send letters to people signed by your cat, and decorate the envelopes with cat paw prints.
You call your hubby at work to tell him the cat has to go to the vet NOW, and he gets off work using his "family leave" time. (and his employer understands, 'cause he is also a "cat person").
by Leigh-Anne Lawrence

There are only 1 or 2 pictures on each roll of film that don't have a cat in them.
You see a bug in the lobby of your apartment building, or anywhere else and consider catching it to take home for the kittens to chase! (we tried to catch a grasshopper once, but it got away)
by NMW

Cat germs mean nothing, and you and your cat drink out of the same glass.
It doesn't faze you at all to have your hands covered with scratches from play-fighting with the kitty, and you insist to your friends, "it doesn't hurt..."
You decide to sleep on the couch all night because the kitty didn't want to get off your tummy after the movie was over.
by Carol Thompson

You go across country to visit relatives you've not seen in more than ten years and you have more pictures of your 3-year-old kitty than you have of your children.
While on same visit, you call home every night, talk to each family member real quick, then ask to talk to kitty, even though it's long distance and he doesn't respond back.
by Gail W.

The only vacation you have been on since 1986 is a brief overnight stay with a friend because you couldn't bear to leave your babies for a lengthy time; and even for just an overnight stay, you call the person taking care of the cats about ten times to make sure everything is okay.
The first thing a visitor sees upon entering the living room is three litter boxes by the front door. (There are boxes throughout the house for the cats' convenience and privacy.)
You tell out of town guests that you will put them up at a motel, because not only is the guest room unavailable (one cat with FIV stays in it) but the cats would be too stressed by strangers in the house for an extended period.
by Patty Laswick

You let your 9 lb. Siamese chew on your hands when she gets frustrated at you. JOSEPH OBERLANDER

You clean out your cats' ear mites with your fingers since they are scared of the Q-tips and HATE the drops. JOSEPH OBERLANDER

You consistently put down on your Roleplaying-Game character sheet, "Goes berserk at cruelty to animals, especially cats." under the section "Character disabilities/flaws" and cross out the flaws part. JOSEPH OBERLANDER

by Joseph Oberlander

You decline a trip to Hawaii because your regular cat-sitter is not available.
You buy your cats Sheba, Fancy Feast, and Pounce at the grocery store and, it never fails that either the person in line next to you or the check out clerk says something like "Gee, you sure have spoiled cats" or "How many cats do you have?". (Only 3, BTW, but healthy appetites.)
You alternate grocery stores to avoid seeing the same check-out person, mentioned in above item, three days later when your cats decide that they are tired of chicken and would prefer a different flavor.
by Debra Deyette

You spend hundreds of dollars on antihistamines so that you can share your life with the cats your allergic to .. and you KNOW its worth it.
You leave the bed warmer on all day just because the cats looked SOOOO comfy sleeping on the bed when you left for work!
You go to your parent's house and see pictures of their "Grandkitties" on the fridge!
by Stacey

Your silver long-hair grabs the corn on the cob off your fiancee's plate and all you can do is laugh while she carries it around the house.
You put another pillow on the bed for yourself rather than kick your darling of 15 years off the bed!
Tears come to your eyes whenever you read posts about folks losing their pets or abandoning animals.
by Bonney

You use all of your years accumulation of experience, education, and ability, to locate the best place to go "dumpster diving" for boxes for the kittens!
You walk around the house in 94 degree weather wearing sweat pants and thick wool socks so the kittens can play "pounce" without adding more tiny scratches to your legs. All the time, of course, carping about the fact that the swamp coolers still need to be serviced and turned on!
by Judith

You smuggle two kitties with you into your Palm Springs condominium for a week-long stay.
You're gone out of town just overnight and hire an overnight kitty sitter. While you are sitting at dinner worried about your furry friends, you decide to call home and check on the "kids", then realize that the other women at the phone booths have children that don't meow.
by Lauren Mahieu

I find myself, a "semi-radical environmentalist," leaving the bathroom sink's faucet turned on for my cats to drink from.
I answer the phone totally out of breath to answer the usual question with "I've been chasing my cats around".
I buy new window-screens, with no complaints, because the cat wanted some fresh ER air.
I ride my bicycle 10 miles to bring back a 20lb bag of IAMS because my local store doesn't carry the "weight-watcher" version.
I, a single person, look forward to getting home every night! Besides being great company, there's no worrying about them meeting me at the door with the new-argument-of-the-day!
by Boyd

You take a nap on the floor so as not to disturb your three sleeping cats who are hogging your whole bed.
You hold off preparing your own dinner because you don't want to open the refrigerator door and disturb the kitty who is standing in front of it eating her dinner.
You don't fold your basket of clean laundry because kitty has made herself comfy in it. Then you have to re-wash many of the clothes because they're covered with cat hair.
You visit pet stores on a regular basis just to play with the kittens. And then you feel guilty about leaving after playing with the kittens because you're afraid they'll get lonely.
You allow a kitten to tear your hand to pieces while she's playing with it, but you don't even mind because you're both enjoying each other's company.
by Stephanie Zwyghuizen

The thing you most miss while travelling away on business is your cat. I call home and am told the cat is crying every night because she misses me and that only makes it worse. Now I hate travelling! (Funny how you can miss having to roll over every 30 minutes while sleeping because the cat keeps trying to sleep against your face!)
You take a net alias like mine.
by Tiberius Longclaw

You sell your Porche to pay the vet bills.
You trust the cats more than anyone else.
Your clothes don't look right without some fur on them.
You don't go out anywhere in case the cats miss you.
by Adam Eccles

Your cat pees on your new sofa and you decide to excuse his behaviour as "he came from a broken home" instead of turning him into a pair of slippers as all your non-cat loving friends suggest!
You spend every spare minute of the time you can't be with your precious mogs (ie. when you have to be at work) reading the rec.pets.cats newsgroup, sighing and saying "Aaaah - yes mine does that, yes and we've had that problem etc."
by Maureen Frostick

Your idea of the most wonderful way in the world to be waken up is by the rasp of a cat's tongue on your nose, and as you open your eyes, the first thing you see is the beautiful face of your furry companion.
My cat spends his nights with me, cuddled up against me, and when the morning comes, I am loath to leave him merely to go to work. I am occasionally late, because Jake demands my affections, and who am I to argue? I share my life with this being who is more wonderful than anyone else I have ever known.
Your cat gouges a trench down the side of your nose bringing forth gouts of blood and you apologize for getting on his nerves ... Did I mention ... ouch?
by Mark Rosengarten

You spend over $500 at a kitty hospital to make her all better when you can barely pay to keep yourself healthy.
Every meal is shared, no matter how hungry you are.
You just can't wait to get home after work and see your kitties (and the damage they've done).
Cleaning the litter isn't a chore because you know the kitties will be much happier with a clean box.
by Kerry Bolduc

You ask people to please refrain from smoking around the cat, but are too uncomfortable about asking them not to do it in front of you only.
You carry framed photos of your cats on vacation. (Mine are in little gold heart shaped frames.)
Your parents refer to your cats as "grandcats."
You send your spouse birthday and holiday cards "signed" by the cats, or You send other people's cats cards "from" your cats. (God, this one's embarrassing.)
by Kim Stahler

You are at work and you miss your cats (kind of like a mother does when she has a baby).
You don't want to roll over in bed because one or both of your cats are curled up so cute and comfortable around your legs.
You think about bringing other friend's cats over for play dates with your cats.
You laugh when your cat does something bad or naughty (rather than get mad and reprimand him).
by Shari A. King

You drive way out of your way to buy that only brand or flavor food which your critters will eat, and you bypass a neighborhood store which doesn't carry that brand.
You could possibly "make do" in a blizzard with what's left in the bottom of the fridge ... but you're out of cat food!
by Chas

You sit on the floor because your cats are taking up the sofa (mine are large enough to leave no room on the sofa when they do this).
You have 2 bathrooms in your new place and you allocate one of them just for the cats' food and litter.
by Peter J. Scott

You don't throw out bulky cartons because the cats love them so much! (And I live in a one-bedroom apartment!)
You stop vacuuming the apartment because you know the noise scares the cats.
by Kami Scott

You spend $50 to get your teeth cleaned and $150 to get HIS teeth cleaned!!!
You attend a junior college and live at home with your parents rather than go to the university you always dreamed of attending, because none of the dorms or off-campus apartments (required for freshmen) will let you bring your cat! (I never did make it to that university ... but ten years later that cat is still the love of my life!)
by Michele Harwell

Your boyfriend says "it's me or the cat" and you choose the cat.
Everyone around you hates cats, and your response is "you don't have to visit".
by Dawn Williford

You go away on a 2-week vacation and get your mom (i.e., the catsitter) "on-line" so you can send her messages everyday asking how the cat is faring without you.
You send postcards to the cat, even though she is not a very good reader.
by Lucinda Rasmussen

The cats get first dibs on the milk in the mug, and when they're finished you finish it off!
You've said no to outings that you'd otherwise be interested in because you haven't been spending enough time with your cats lately.
by Sarah Ettritch

At 8:00PM Friday night, you notice a small rash starting on your kitty's neck and rush him to the E.R. and spend a week's pay to be told it's time for another bath.
You're in the pet supplies aisle of the grocery store and you see a woman trying to hide a small kitten from the manager. You signal to her, take her cart and fill it with all the things she'll need for the new "baby" while neglecting your own shopping.
by Debra Franco

What sends you to the grocery store in the first place is that you're out of cat food -- even though you've been out of people food for weeks!
Your vet bills average $50/month, but you don't have health insurance for yourself and can't afford to go to the doctor!
by Liz

You don't want to have any children because Frankie, Chloe and Dino are all you need.
Your cat dies and you wake up every morning for a week and cry as soon as you realize she's dead.
by Peter Drew

Your once efficient home office now: contains a kitty-condo, two scratching posts, a litter box, dozens of toys, and a feeding station!
You don't pick a dirty tee shirt up from the floor for three days because the three month old kitten insists it is her new bed!
by Judith Rogow

You are walking in a foreign country, and whatever interesting thing you see you just shout in emotion: "My cat would LOVE to see that!".
You have to study for your exams and your lovely small kitty ends up playing just over your notes, and you can't take her away because she is SO CUTE!
by Maria Escribano-Del-Moral

Your cat has his OWN ice cream dish, because he can not wait until you are finished to lick out of your dish! (We prefer this method to the "sharing" method!)
You want the best seat in the house, you will have to move the cat!
by Gina

You have Flippy's website at the top of your bookmark list. [by Karen Hooper]
You have more photos of your cats than you do of your family. [by G. Phillips]
You take photos of birdies for your kitties. While I was in Paris recently with my Fianc�e we saw the most amazingly fat pigeons, so I took a photo of one for my kitty because I knew how much he loves a good pigeon. [by Lizbet]
You catch your 1-1/2 year old Abyssinian sipping out of your milk glass at dinner, and instead of getting angry and "shooing" her out of there, you just get yourself another glass of milk. [by Janice]
Your 4-year-old DSH jumps up beside you and starts eating your spaghetti right off your plate and you let him eat his fill before retiring the remains of supper to the garbage disposal. [by Kelli Wadsworth]
You spend $70 to get her groomed and $12 on your own haircut. [by Stacey Bronstein Pelna]
You own a three bedroom house and use them thus: One for mom and dad, One for the two daughters, and One for the Three cats. [by Michael Gorton]
You visit a dog owning friend and she makes you a cup of tea. You drink it and begin to wonder why the hairs have a different taste than usual. [by Jane Hopkins]
You go on a long trip and leave your cat in the house by himself. Of course, you have someone check on him twice a day ... but that's not enough. You call long distance and leave a message on the answering machine ... knowing when your baby hears the phone ring he will run to the phone and listen to your voice delivering the message "here kitty, momma loves you". [by Mary Writesel]
You call home on the answering machine when you feel that your kitties are sad because you left for work in the a.m. I know they hear me and it is a trip in the break room when I tell them Mommie will BBS with tuna for all! [by Suzanne Bullock]
You sit on the tiled floor wearing a skirt so the cat doesn't fall between your legs when she climbs on and you stay there with your butt frozen and no feeling in your legs for over 2 hours. And since you got up at 5.00 am you just want to go to bed/do that homework that's been piling up/whatever but you don't 'cos you're a CAT LOVER. [by Cath]
In the middle of a wonderful vacation you only want to go home, just because you miss your babies. (Another sign of being a terminal cat lover is when you refer to them as your "babies".) [by Deborah Katz]
Because we are going (to Hawaii) next week, we drove our cat five hours to Pittsburgh last weekend so he could have 'summer camp' at 'Grandma's'. [by Lynne]
You spend 20 minutes every day explaining to the cat what he is going to have for breakfast, and if he has any questions, or suggestions for lunch later that day ... AND you bring out every flavor of the food in the house, and show it to the cat to see if he has any sort of noticeable preference. [by Dan & Samantha]
You don't make up your bed because the cat is still in it with the covers to his shoulders, and his head on the pillow. [by Roy Bolen]
You don't invite someone to spend the night because there's no room for the two of you AND your cats. [by Ron Polland]
You don't unpack your suitcase for 3 days after coming home from a trip because the cat loves to sleep in it so much! [by D. Taunton]
You walk in the room and stay quite cause the cat is sleeping. [by William Kallio]
You go vegetarian when the vet puts your cat on a diet, so the smells of cooking salmon and chicken and etc. etc. don't torture him. [by Robert A. Moeser]
You subscribe to a cats newsgroup and every mention of how cute some one's cat is, you really miss your cats. [by Tigress]
You see one of those commercials on TV for the SPCA-type thing in your area, (in Pgh, it's 'Pick of the Litter') you want to take every one of them home, and proceed to cry when you remember that you can't have a cat in your dorm. (Thank god I just graduated! Now I can get my kitty.) [by Lenore M. Waldron]
You get back your holiday photos and you have to explain them to your friends and neighbours like this: "Well this is a cat we saw at the foot of the Eiffel tower... and these are two strays that were raiding a skip near the Sacre Couer, and if you just look at the bottom right of this picture of Notre Dame you'll see the cat that we stroked on our first day, there, see it, no no the little black dot there....THERE!" [by Andy Aldridge]
While reading the newspaper, my 7-year-old and 9-week-old have fun playing and/or sleeping on it, always while I am reading it. I simply quit reading and let them play! [by Carole Judd]
You're terribly allergic to cats, but can not keep from petting and cuddling every cat you meet. Also, you dream of finding a cat that your allergies will tolerate. And to make up for not having a cat, you read books about them: Herriot, Braun's "cat who" books, etc. [by Vicki Delinger]
You're dreaming that you have a pet rabbit and it meows at you. [by Alice Victoire M. Leisman]
You won't roll over while sleeping because you don't want to disturb the cats. [by Richard C. Trost]
You back your station wagon up to the pet food store, open the door, and the proprietor proceeds to load your car with food and litter. He even puts everything aside after his delivery truck has left. [by Garry Boyd]
It's time for bed and find you drank a lot of water and have to go to the bathroom. You find kitty-cat sweetly sleeping on top of the toilet seat cover. You go to bed with a full bladder so you don't disturb your kitty's sweet slumber. [by Diane Eardley]
The sign on your door reads: "In case of fire break down my door & DO NOT leave without all five cats". [by Shelly Buslowitz]
You have a sign on your door that reads: "Dear Mr. or Ms. Burglar: Help yourself to anything you want, only please don't let the cats out!" [by Linda]
You give them foamed milk (when making your cappuccino) on the deck during winter time. [by Marc Matthias Simony]
You leave three folding chairs stacked in the corner instead of putting them away because Beauty Cat likes to poke her paw in them and hide her mousie there. [by Rachel Rice]
You adopt that adorable injured stray even though you know he's going to need major surgery. [by Mary S. Hanks]
I'm at work I phone my home on my break and talk to my answering machine so that Scooter can hear my voice and not feel lonely for me. [by Amanda Tryon]
You buy a portable phone so you don't have to disturb the cat by getting up from her favorite chair to answer the phone in another room. (Truly, that's about the only time I use the thing.) [by Gail Futoran]
You have a look at them and can't help banging your head against the wall (or any solid object that happens to be near you) crying "WHY? WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?", and faint. [by Wilde]
You kiss them on the lips... [by Claudia Reardon]
You are able to fall asleep with a tail curled around your nose and fur going up your nasal passage. [by Jessica]
You don't change socks for a week because your cat decided to have kittens in your sock drawer and you don't want to disturb her. [by Simone Shoemaker]
You don't use the vacuum while your kitties are sleeping because you think it'll disturb them. [by Kron}
The first newsgroup you choose when you first have access to the internet is "rec.pets.cats". [by Kate Sterling]
You use up your precious "free hours" [on the internet] cruising through the worms/fleas/puke/poop/pee reports with a SMILE on your face. And then you go home and kiss those Heavens-Only-Knows-Where-They've-Been Whiskers until your cats beg for mercy! [by Phyllis]
You heat up your cats milk in the microwave oven. (Every time the cat hears the microwave she thinks she is getting milk.) [by Anne Greenaway]
my SO picks up lids to plastic soda bottles, plastic tear-off rings from cottage cheese cartons, bits of crumpled paper and plastic shopping bags (with the handles cut off) and asks "Is this a cat toy?" so that he knows whether to throw it away or back on the kitchen floor! [by Samantha]
You have to wait in the morning to use the bathroom until the cat decides to move from her perch on the toilet. And you wait! (Relief after much coaxing...) [by Donna Townsend]
You continue to wear an incredibly beat-up pair of suede moccasins around the house just because one of your cats loves to stretch and scratch when you wear them! [by Linda L. Greco]
I try to vacuum when my two are outside, so it doesn't scare them. I'm not nearly as considerate of my son. I vacuum in his room when he's sleeping, but then he doesn't get up until noon on the weekends. I can't wait forever! [by Marg McKeen]
You tell your sons you'll fix them something to eat as soon as the cat wakes up and gets off your lap. (They're old enough to fix themselves snacks!) [by Patti]
You're on vacation in Hawaii and you look forward to getting home to see your cats. [by Adfirmone]
You get up off the couch and move to another seat because your cat wants his favorite spot back. [by Nick Fiamengo, Jr.]
After you bring a new kitten home, and the first cat pees on you in the middle of the night while you're sleeping (twice, yet) all you can say to your pissed off, extremely perplexed husband is, "See how much he loves me? He's jealous of the new kitten; he cares." (Okay, I admit, I was ill and medicated at the time. Not so ill that when my husband said, "So all I need to do in order to show that I care is..." I threw a pillow at him.) [by Marie Quick]
You START vacuuming the apartment because one of the cats has a flea allergy. [by Rebecca McQuitty]
You stop vacuuming the apartment because the loose cat fur makes it feel like home. [by Byron Sutherland]
You allow THEM to train YOU, and you don't know it at first. [by Susan Wider]
You shuffle your feet anytime you walk inside your house to avoid stepping on a supine cat. [by Amy L. Clark]
Someone comments "You have fur all over that sweater" and you respond, "That's ok, it only makes me softer". {by Michele Hendrix]
You sleep doubled over in bed so that your cat can have your pillow to herself. [by Diane]
after a hard day at work, you get home feeling tired but you feed your kitties before you do anything else. (But they're worth it - there's nothing better than getting home after a hard day to find kitties there, waiting to see you). [by Cathy Higgins]
You want to turn over in the middle of night, but find that you have been pinned to your bed by the dead weight of a 13 lb cat sleeping between your legs, and decide "Oh well, I didn't want to turn over anyway." [by Katie Kakes]
You go to bed an hour earlier than you'd planned because your cat is crying to get you to retire with him... now. [by Skid]
You long for cooler weather because you can look forward to being covered in cats at night (in my case, seven of them). [by Znofyl]
You wake up in the morning with your arm muscles cramping because the cat was so cute curled up in your arm that you didn't move it all night. [by Susan Craver]
You're buying a double bed so you have room to turn over without disturbing the cat. [by Pete Appleton]
when almost every checkout clerk at the grocery store greets you with "How many cats do you have?!?!?" And you get home with several bags of cat food, cat toys, litter, and cat treats and only a six-pack of soda and chips for yourself! [by Yevarechya]
You get in conversation in the checkout line with the woman behind you (the one with all the cat food) on such absorbing topics as the best local source for catnip. Not to mention that some people seem to find your habit of stopping to pet and admire all the cats you encounter on your way home a bit odd. [by Cheryl Perkins]
in the checkout line, you're purchasing cat food (the 7-lb sack), cat litter, cat toy(s), and a 1/2 gallon of milk, you feel compelled to volunteer to the cashier, "The milk is for me..."! [by Donna Gabriel]
You're napping in the backyard hammock but you finish your nap inside because one of the kitties spots you from the upstairs window and starts to cry. [by Suzan M.]
Your best furfriend gets cancer and you take him to the top oncology clinic, and $2,500 later hear that he is totally cured, and figure that its the best money you ever spent. [by Michael G. Barbitta]
You are known in Denver as the "Precise" people and will drive miles to get 20 lb bags since it is the only dry food the little darlings love! (It is hard to find Precise often in Denver but we persist). [by Denise]
You have 14 of the little angels, and you want more! (It is almost an obsession.) [by Judy Johnson]
You buy cat food in 20 lb. bags, and litter in double that amount. [by Mary}
Your cat comes home after he dropped himself in a puddle of mud and you lay towels on the brand new couch so he can still rest on his favorite spot. [by Elaine Rene]
You take your daughter out of the pram and make her walk and put the cat in so she doesn't get sore paws. [by Jaime-Lea]
Whenever you see a cat, you can't help but pat it and pat it and pat it and pat it... [by Eva Hudson]
You constantly pick up stray cats and give the same story to your mom to get away with keeping them. "I found her on the side of the interstate, Mom. I couldn't just leave her there." Even though your Mom quit believing that story years ago, she still makes the newcomer feel right at home with the other three cats that began their lives as strays. [by Leah Wallingsford]
You set your alarm for three hour increments to get up and bottle feed an orphaned two-day-old kitten that your daughter brought home for you to try to save. (He now weighs almost 20 lbs and his name is Loki.) [by Beth Gann]
You carry a sack of cat food around in the trunk of your car to feed the stray cats at the house where you previously lived. [by Sandy Landfried]
You buy a kitten from a pet shop because it's 40 degrees Celcius, and the kitten is panting and looks like she needs to be in air conditioning - it's way to hot to be left in a cage. (True story, her name is Anneka and she is now 9 weeks old.) [by Lee]
When you have cat tablecloths! [by Pretty Prairie]
You damn near break your neck while exercising because your cat thinks the "step" you're using for the step video would be a terrific place to lie down, and you don't have the heart to move her. [by Lisa]
You are used to waking up with a cat's butt one inch from your nose! (Honest! I go through this everyday!) [by Bernie Rich]
You spend thousands of dollars on equipment and hundreds on phone lines and internet access so your cat can purr to people around the world. [by Hazel Az]
A friend gives you a cat scratching post and kitty toys for *your* birthday. (It's true!) [by Joyce W.]
You go with your wife on a business trip across the country, and come home with a stray cat because the no kill shelters were full. (true story) [by Robert Layten]
My husband plans a Special Evening Out and takes me to a Very Expensive Restaurant and orders all my favorite foods -- and I can't wait to get home because the cats don't like it if I go away without them! [Renee in CA]
You lost your last cat to illness and you swear never to get attached to another little ball of fur, and the next day you find 3 little newborns with their eyes not even open yet right at your back door. And what do you do? You guessed it! Oh well, here I go again... God in heaven knows I can't turn my back on those precious little abandoned babies. [by Cathy Fowler]
You're late for work because one of the cats wanted to linger in bed and cuddle. (Fortunately, my manager is a cat-person too!) [by Ann Adamcik]
You spend time worrying about how much catfood you should compile just in case there is ever an apocolyptic event. You can eat grubs, but the kitties need healthy food. [by Karen Chuplis]
You give your cat your last can of chicken noodle soup for thier lunch instead of yours because you know they like it cold. Despite the fact that you have a sore throat and can't have solids untill the swelling goes down. [by Tonie Becker]
You drive around with a litter box and kitty seat in your car! [by Ellie]
Your best "hair-dos" are done by the cat. [by Michael]
You leave dinner for 12 because you have forgotten the cat's special treats. [by Maren]
Regular people can merely make cats purr, but you can make them so happy that there is a little chirping sound with the purrs. [by Chloe]
after months of working on the family tree tracing many generations across the world and time... he (Blue the cat) appears on the "tree" with his own branch... with us as his parents! {by Leisa Logan]
You send you cat to grandma's house in the summer cause she lives in the country and the cat likes it better there - you, of course, continue to swelter in the city. [by Rebetha}
It thrills you to hear three little words from that special someone... "I love cats." [by Robin Merica]
You pick up a tin of tuna at the supermarket and your partner asks "Is that for my sandwiches" and you look at them in disgust and sneer "No, its for the cats". [by Puddles]
Your mother comes to visit the grandpussies when you are away cos she thinks they will be lonely! [by Jodi]
Your son pages you with a code of 911 and you call and ask if something has happened to the cats. You never even think something might be wrong with your son! [by Catherine]
You eat tuna salad once a week at least, because your cat likes his Tuna Tai. [by Loke]
You have six pairs of cat earrings; you have more sweaters with cats on them than ones without; your mailbox looks like a cat; people at work know your cat's name but not your husband's; your toilet-brush holder is a ceramic cat... I could go on and on... [by Susan]
Your mother says she doesn't care if you ever have kids, she just wants a picture of her grandkitty. And as long as you bring the grandkitty home to visit with you for Christmas break. And when she regales her coworkers with storied of her grandkitty. And when the grandkitty gets Christmas gifts and birthday gifts. (Seriously, this is exactly what my friend's mother is like!) [by Courtney M. Eckhardt]
You carefully crawl to the top of the bed, change your position, and carefully slide back around the cat, instead of making the cat move and just rolling over! [by Rebecca]
You decide to buy a queen-size bed to give the CATS more room. [by Gilcat]
You type using no capital letters because there's a cat on your arm preventing you from using the shift key. [by Marcia Marvin]
You have a sore arm and shoulder from reaching over the cat in your lap to use the computer keyboard and mouse. [by Joy]
Your guests have to sleep on the couch because the guest bedroom is occupied by a not-quite-tamed-yet cat you've trapped. [by Anne]
You have to get up in the middle of the night, but instead of going straight back to bed you let the cat lead you into the kitchen to skritch her while she eats, because that's her *favorite* thing and you hate to disappoint her. [by Tartancat]
You're working on the computer at a non-cat-person friend's house, and you keep reaching down by your ankles and looking confused when there is no cat there to help. [by Mark Edwards]
You wake up in the winter and warm the can food (gently) in the microwave for a precise 20 seconds (just to take the chill off) because you store your food in the cold cold pantry. You're the same person who tells your husband/kids just to eat the leftover pizza cold rather than wasting the electricity to warm it up. [by Spring Velazquez]
Your cat has his own email address to invite people to his first birthday party. [by Daisy Lee]
You have 20 cats! [by Mike]

My cat loves to be scratched, and hugged. He demands it, even if it's in the middle of the night. And I get up to hug him... That's a cat-lover, isn't it?
You feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the good china.
Your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
You take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the radio.
You take your cat everywhere because you..., I mean *she* gets separation anxiety.
You yell at Snookums for talking too much.
You apologize for yellin' at your darlin' and tell her you didn't mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants.
You are done crying you go get a towel to dry the tears off of her fur to make her happy.
Your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family, you say, "It's just a phase she's going through."
Your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat psychotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and causing her disruptive behavior.
You have full conversations with your cats and you think it's normal.
You think that they understand you and communicate back.
You have more cat toys than clothes.
You wear black people think that you're shedding.
You get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat.
You take more pictures of your cat then you do of your children.
You call home during your honeymoon and ask if the children have fed the cat and where is he sleeping and don't ask if the children are okay.
Your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles.
You refer to your parents as "Grandma" and "Grandpa", but you have no children.
You force everyone who phones your house to listen to Snookums meow into the receiver.
Your cat has more names than you do.
You still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink the milk while he eats the cereal.
Someone else yells at your cat for being bad and you say, "Be nice... she's only human."
Your way of punishing your cat for bad behavior is a "Time Out" in the bathroom after explaining that she has been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff.
You spend a date telling your date all about your cats and not one thing about yourself.
Each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual "special voice".
You call your own answering machine just so that the cats can hear your voice.
You post pictures of your cat on your web page and your spouse has no picture posted!
You cough up hairballs daily too.
Your cat has more say than your spouse.
You write poems about your cat.
Your cat sleeps in your bed more often than your spouse.
You don't need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes you up before the alarm clock goes off.
You can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it does happen.)
You've stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that appear on your clothes could possibly come from.
You've stopped caring about the amount of fur on your clothing on the rare occasions when you actually go out in public.
You apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark.
You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down.
You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking *sooo* cute!
You accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the floor.
You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids.
You decorate your Christmas tree with dangly cat toys.
Your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all the cats".
You have more pictures of your cats than your kids in your wallet.
You refer to your cat as your furry child.
Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry "grandchild".
You you plan your vacation around the cat show schedule.
You accidentally call your spouse by your cat's name!
You tell your guests to vacate an armchair when your cat walks into the room.
You set a place at the dinner table for your cat.
You have a set of towels with "His", "Hers", and "Kitty's".
You call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat.
You have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine.
You and kitty have matching outfits.
Your spouse says, "Me or the cat!", and there's no hesitation.
You never go to the door unless it's to let a cat out.
Your favorite friends have fleas.
You chose a house to buy based on it having a good location for the catbox.
You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal.
You own 14 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers.
You are lost for conversation with non-cat people.
You meow so well, you confuse the cats.
You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between 9-Lives and Whiskas ... at length.
Your younger sister has a heart to heart with you about the attention you give your cat.
You have warned all your friends that in a burning building they will have to find their own way out because you're going in for the cats and won't have time to get them.
You explain to your sister that when the cat pees on her in bed it's because it's jealous of her and she should pay it more attention.
You remind your self daily that cats are to be worshipped and any body who doesn't think so should live on Mars.
Your younger sister has a heart to heart with you about the attention you give your cat.
Authors Unknown

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