I've always thought if one of the Fabulous Furballs would be responsible for a b**t**d cat trick it would be Sarsi and not dear quiet little Dunzi... WRONG!

Saturday mornings are when I pay back the overdraft on my sleep account caused by staying up too late and having to get to work the next day. Almost nothing is allowed to interfere with my Saturday morning lie-in's...

8.30AM - I wandered into bathroom with nothing more on my mind than going back to bed... the bathroom window's open a little wider than it should be and since I am not in the habit of storing my toothpaste and mouthwash in the sink, I know a cat has been up there. Probably Dunzi she likes to sniff the fresh air... That window isn't wide enough for her to get out I don't think. I don't like her going out but she can only sit on the sill, there's nowhere else to go and she's not there so she's probably been here she's gone back to bed... As I am now going to do...

Something starts to nag my brain, a half-formed word..sca... scaff... Scaffolding! For some unknown reason, they put it up at the back of the building yesterday.

Start looking... Can't find Dunzi anywhere... Dave points out she's probably in Narnia (We've decided she goes through the wall at the back of the wardrobe into Narnia- it's an expression we use when we can't find her). I agree, this is a cat that doesn't even always come out at mealtimes...

Sarsi has an expression on her face... cats aren't supposed to be able to imitate Human expressions but anyone would call the expression "worried". She keeps looking round and running up and patting my knee to get attention (She's now known as "Lassie). Dave keeps insisting she can't have got out, she won't have got out... she's got more sense than that. I am searching and starting to panic, imagination goes into overdrive, and I am designing "missing cat" posters, having visions of her getting run over. I throw some clothes on, I won't be happy until I've made sure but I fully expect to get back and have her to appear from some corner and look at me as if to say "What?"

Out I go... half way down our stairs there is a window. I look out... And sitting the other end of a platform on the scaffolding is Dunzi... who seeing me starts to make crying noises... probably thinking she is in trouble. I start using words I will not repeat in case anyone under 21 reads this and run back to the flat. Informing Dave where Dunzi is, he used language I will not repeat in case anyone under 41 reads this. I open the bathroom window and try calling down. All I get is "meep!". Imagination starts to go into overdrive... how long has she been out there? In this heat? Could she have fallen and hurt herself?

And when you get down to it... how do we get her in? Can I climb out the bathroom window, get down the ladder and get her? Well my weight on the bathroom sink will pull it off the wall and I'm notoriously afraid of heights but... well she is my little Dunzi even through at this moment I am not her numero uno fan... shall we call that emergency plan B? Emergency plan A, which is starting to look likely is call the fire brigade or do they only rescue cats from trees?

I try waving ham from the bathroom window, a few passers-by look up at the sight All I get is more "meep's"- Dunzi has never learnt to speak properly.

I go back to the hallway window as I do I manage to slam the front door so I have to bang on the door and shout for Dave who being in the bathroom doesn't hear me. So I have to bang loud enough to cause our neighbour to come out and see what the noise is.

Dunzi has now walked to this edge of the platform. She looks so pathetic I end up throwing her the ham. I don't want her to try and get to this window. She's three feet below it, not a problem but it's a 6-foot jump with nothing but the concrete 40-50 feet below to break her fall. Worse still the platform is at right angles to the window so it's not a straight jump... Sarsi might do it but we are talking about Dunzi who can fall off the floor...

I am going to call the fire brigade... as I get to the door I hear a noise I can only describe as "Meeeep -owww---eeeeek!"

She's tried to jump... her head and front paws are on the sill but she's sliding backwards. Obviously didn't quite make it... sliding backwards with nothing but that concrete floor below to break her fall... and I am not going to get to her in time...

Then with a little grunt of effort she manages to get her back legs onto the sill. Dunzi's made it! She jumps down from the sill and stands there giving me that sweet look designed for when she knows she's in trouble. I am just too relieved to say anything nasty.

Dave opens the door. Dunzi runs in past him.

And for a finale, ignoring Sarsi who is plainly asking "Where the Hell have you been?", Dunzi runs into the bathroom and straight into her litter tray.

Dave looks at me and says "She could have at least done that outside!"

One ruined Saturday morning lie-in... that bathroom window is now padlocked until the scaffolding comes down. At least Dunzi's fine through the following night I caught her pawing at the bathroom window. I just hope she's learned her lesson but I wouldn't bet on it.

Copyright © Lesley Madigan
July 24, 2006