In the January, 2000 issue of Cat Fancy Magazine, there was a ridiculous (in my opinion) quiz called "Rate Your Pet-Owning Style", which gave you points as a "cat cherisher" for dressing your cats in costumes, giving them parties, and taking them on vacation, all activities that would make my cats feel tortured, not cherished. I flunked the quiz roundly, but since I know myself to be dotty about my cats (and a good kitty mother), I came up with the following quiz based on my own experience:

1. Is your entire body covered with tiny scars?
2. Do you take care to pet each cat in the special the way SHE likes to be stroked or scratched?
3. Do you schedule trips to the vet according to when it will least inconvenience your cat? (And never on Friday, in case there's a reaction to the shots.)
4. If your cat must spend a night at the vet's, do you take along an article of your (worn) clothing for him to sleep on?
5. When you go on vacation do you--or are you tempted to--buy a treat or new toy to take home to your cat?
6. When your cat tries to wake you in clever ways, such as knocking your watch off the shelf, are you amused and proud instead of annoyed?
7. Do you sometimes play with your cat for ten minutes or more only to realize YOU are playing and SHE is merely watching?
8. Do you feel resentment toward, or even stop inviting, people who are afraid of or allergic to (they say) cats?
9. Do you delay getting up from your chair because a cat is in your lap?
10. Do you sit in a less comfortable chair because your cat is in yours?
11. Have you ever used your computer kneeling or standing because the cat is in your office chair?
12. When you lie down to take a nap, do you feel lonely or even unable to sleep if your cat doesn't join you?
13. Do you give your cat a few strokes to jump-start his eating if necessary?
14. When your cat was very ill and refusing to eat, did you trap mice and dangle them in front of her eyes?
15. When you get up during the night to go to the bathroom, do you wriggle out from the covers, then wriggle back in so as not to disturb the cats on either side of you?

    Answer the following questions if you have indoor/outdoor cats:

16. Do you interrupt a meal -- as many as six times -- to let cats in and out?
17. If your cat is outside and you hear a dog bark, do you check to see where your cat is and whether she needs to come in?
18. If you can't remember which of your cats is in and which out, do you frantically comb the house doing a head count?
19. Have you ever stood on the top rung of a 12-foot ladder hugging a tree that your cat was in, coaxing him to come down?
20. If your cat didn't come when you called, did you then wait up for her and feel only relief when she sauntered in an hour past dark? (You get a bonus point if you then started plotting how not to let this happen again.)

Scoring: Any score from 1 to 21 makes you a true cat cherisher in my book!

Copyright © Lynda Goldsmith, 2000