Or maybe a better idea is a cat,
To laze in the sunshine – how about that?
To sleep on my own human’s bed every night,
To pounce on the birds, and watch them take flight!

To wander through life with never a care,
To precede my human into the best chair,
To sniff at the lips of the bullying man
After licking my bottom – just ‘cos I can!

To know that they’ll feed me the choicest of fish
And chicken and liver – whatever I wish,
With biscuits for crunch, and milk, and for sure,
Cat litter to scatter all over the floor.

I’ll need a long coat of hair I can shed
All over the tablecloth, carpet and bed,
So when they discover a hair on their steak,
“Oh, give it the bloody cat, for God’s sake!”