When I was just a kitten
My mother said to me
"Someday, you'll have a human pet
They're cuddly and they're free"

She said "They're awful clumsy
They stumble, trip, and fall
They cannot even see a Cat
Sleeping in a hall"

"They act as if they own the place
They're bossy every day
You'll learn you must ignore them
It's just the human way"

So, I took my Mom's advice
I got a human pet
I have named her Ginny
And she's cuddly as they get

Owning Ginny's been some fun
And usually we are friends
But she can be a handful
I'm glad she wasn't twins

Humans really aren't too bright
Their brains are small, I guess
While trying hard to train her
I've not had much success

She doesn't seem to understand
How things are 'posed to be
She insists on being headstrong
Not mellowed out, like me

She hasn't learned to lick herself
To keep her body clean
And when it comes to purring
She isn't very keen

She plays on her computer
Just wasting time away
When playing with a ball of string
Could really make her day

She's seems content to sit there
Banging on those keys
While I inspect her ankles
Checking them for fleas

When my neighbors visit me
We sneak out to the bushes
We laugh about our human pets
While sitting on our tushes

I suspect she's sniffing catnip
As one day she got so high
She tried to throw me in the sink
'Twas filled with chartreuse dye

Ginny's getting up in years
And becoming rather slow
There are a lot of cats out there
Who'd say she has to go

But I'm inclined to keep her
I've considered this a lot
Why train another human pet
When I love the one I've got

Copyright © Chick Velasco, 2000