... when you can smell the foul aroma of cat excretia, the cat is running around the house in post-poo party mode, and the dog is sniffing the air in eager anticipation, but for the life of you, you can't find the offending turd.

... that the cat is convinced dog food is better than cat food, and the dog is convinced that cat food is better than dog food.

... that no matter what you do, the cat will always be between you an the monitor.

... that dogs seem to have a bottomless well of slobber.

... that cats can still put on a happy purr even while they're trying to kill the hand that feeds them.

... that dogs never look guilty about anything, whereas cats look guilty almost all the time.

... when the wrong animal makes it to the other animal's food dish first, causing WW3.

... when you call the cat and the dog comes running and when you call the dog, the cat comes running.

... how the pets seem to gang up on you.

... when you find yourself paying "animal tax" while eating dinner, so you can get some peace.

... when both cat & dog want to share your lap...at the same time.

... when the cat and dog play your partner off against yourself and each other, so that they both maximise the attention and treats that each of them get.

... when you find that you now refer to yourself as "[the pets name] 's Mum".

... when you find yourself saying things to your pets that your parents said to you, and you swore blind you'd never ever say those things to your kids?

Copyright © Vicky Chapman
December 7, 1999