You know the sayings about Curiosity and the Cat. Well, my pair have got that in spades.

The "Cat Door Theory" states that anytime a door, of the hinged variety, or on rollers, is opened, a cat must enter to be present when said door is closed by an unsuspecting human. This way, the cat can retain dominance over said human by proving time and time again how foolish and inconsiderate of the cat hierarchy the human is, causing treats to be given on a regular basis. I tell you... it's a conspiracy.

So I deemed to rattle a few chains on their little Theory....

While cooking Sunday dinner I routinely open and close many cupboard doors in my kitchen, and Cleo likes to test the Cat Door Theory to it's limits. She is a retired huntress, and being so pretends to be ignorant of the mechanical workings of doors. When Cleo gets under the kitchen sink for example, and the Theory is put in motion, she paws the door madly (which she could easily open) from the inside in an insulted manner. This is one-upmanship on the dumb can-opener. We now expect to be let out, apologized to, patted and fawned over, and such attention, of course, is rejected, and we skulk off. Ohh no... not this time. I just let her paw away in vain, saying out loud "C'mon Cleo, you know and I know you can get out of there, so the jigs up".

Velvet, the professional door opener who routinely opens half the doors in the house while I'm at work each day arrives on scene, and looks up at me as if to say "well, complete your part of the Theorem can-opener". No deal... Cleo paws away. I'm NOT giving in this time. So what does the 'Vet do? She opens the door and lets Cleo out!!! No, I'm not on cheap drugs! I saw it with my own two dumb human eyes! Talk about helping your fellow cat!

At this point two sets of green eyes narrow and regard the can-opener with disdain, and the eyes then promptly leave the scene of the crime. I have a feeling I'm going to be punished, but I have no idea how. Maybe a juicy hairball on my pillow from Cleo. Time will tell... stay tuned.

Copyright © Bill Mason
May 15, 2001