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One early summer day, my humans let me outside on my leash. I had just finished taking care of some ‘business’ and I was simply lolling about, rolling back and forth on the concrete pad in front of my house. Then all of a sudden, my cat instincts kicked—a smell—a very peculiar smell—wafted into my nostrils. Unlike anything I've ever smelled, I jumped up and jabbed the air with my nose trying to understand the unusual aroma.Whilst busily trying to identify the scent, I heard (in cat-ese) someone behind me speak! “Hello Big Boy!! Whatcha’ doing???” I quickly turned around and there was another cat! (Go figure!) I turned and slowly approached the feline. I sniffed at her and the previously unidentified smell was coming from this cat!
“Uhh...hi....,” I said, ‘Who are you?”
“I'm Natasha—and what might your name be?” she replied.
“Kiddington J. Catt…but my friends call me Kiddy.”
“Well, Kiddy…do you wanna???”
I looked at her with a puzzled look and my face. “Umm…do I wanna what??”
“You know…do you wanna??”
I looked at her with a very quizzical look.
“Aren't you a male?” she queried.
“I should say so!’ I replied with a touch of indignity in my meow.
“Well….do you wan…oh wait,” she meowed at me. “Wait…are you…one of…THOSE?”
I turned my head slightly. “One of what?”
She looked at me with concern in her eyes. “Have you been….fixed?”
“Fixed???” I asked. “What’s that?”
Natasha walked around to me…err…backside and sniffed (with much embarrassment to me!) “Oh you poor dear…you have!”
“What? I've been fixed? What does that mean??”
Natasha continued, “Have you been to the animal doctor’s office? You know…the place with lots and lots of different animal smells? Dogs barking, cats meowing…and other things. Did you spend the night there?”
“Well…yeah…I guess I did. When I was pretty young I spent a couple of nights at the animal doctors. Hated it. Told my humans in no uncertain terms we'd never do that again!”
“Did they let you sleep there? I don't mean a quick cat-nap. I mean…a real long sleep. Did you wake up really groggy?"
“Uhh..yes…now that you mention it, I did.”
“And did your backside feel a little sore and dirty?”
“Yeah, it did. I had to lick and lick and lick before I started feeling better!” I said.
“Then you've been fixed…you know…the N word!” Natasha replied.
“The "N" word?”
“Yes…Neutered!”
‘NEUTERED!!’ I thought to myself! ‘My humans had me neutered! Those dirty, lowdown, rotten..’
“Gee, I'm sorry Big Guy!" Natasha said, interrupting my conversation with myself. “I'm really am sorry!"
I continued my silent diatribe against my humans ‘Boy..just you wait! I'm gonna pee all over the house! Hairballs on the computer keyboard! Wake ‘em up at 3 am!! I'm gonna..’
“Well, Big Boy…I've gotta go,” said Natasha. “Time’s a-wastin’!! Maybe I'll see you around the neighborhood.” With that, Natasha left the yard in search of other…err…cats. Meanwhile, I was steamed--really steamed—(If this weren't a general public page, I'd say I was pretty pissed!) at my humans! Over the next several days, I calmed somewhat but still…
Then I talked with Ralph. Ralph is one of my good buddies—a neighborhood cat. He wasn't feeling too good.
“Man, what a rough three or four days!” Ralph began. “Some silly female cat was spreading her ‘come hither-type’ vibes all over the place! About drove me nuts!!! No sleep, little food, and the constant roaming! You're lucky, Kiddy! You're fixed! That kind of stuff doesn't affect you! Man, I wish my humans would fix me!!”
“You do???” I asked incredulously. “Does it really bother you that much?”
“Yep!,” replied Ralph. “Happens every couple of months—some hot-to-trot female just comes waltzing through here…and for next few days, its just sheer hell! And I ain't getting any younger, ya; know!”
Well, after my little conversation with Ralph, I began to change my mind! Maybe I was lucky! I always felt good! My head, heart, and blood pressure didn't race, I wasn't constantly trying to escape, I always had a warm place to sleep and could always eat! Maybe being a neutered cat wasn't so bad after all!
by Kiddington J. Catt
Copyright © Roger Hooker
EDITOR'S NOTE: For information about the advantages of spaying or neutering your pets, please visit the desexing page.
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