"Shh Everyone, Meowmie thinks that she is doing a very important spreadsheet
at work, but I have infiltrated her feeble mind by my incredible telepathy..."

To which Frank Cat replied:

Ah, Shmoggleberry, you have also mastered this technique. I have been using it for some time to woo that delightful lady cat Waffles (mmm, the name makes me salivate!), but, alas, to no avail. She is much too independent, it would seem, to have any time for such an old fashioned gentleman as myself. My attempts have been interrupted because my usual hoomin went away and left me with a hoomin who has no computer. Well, she had some redeeming qualities, I must say. This hoomin actually eats *meat*, which my usual one does not. Very nice. I and my humble subject Nikki found a plate she had left for us on the counter with *ham* and vegetables with *oil* and *mayonnaise* on! What a nice hoomin! We showed our appreciation by only leaving the salad. By the way, it can be quite useful to get a kitten in to do your menial work, such as grooming you and cleaning your ears. They are easy to train if you get them at an early stage. And of course, cat spit is so much more palatable than d*g spit. Yours, Frank Cat, Esq.