It was a grey and wet day today so I decided the perfect thing to do would be stay inside, turn up the heat, and work on a painting. (I'm best inspired on rainy days.) Normally, when I do this I put Fussy outside, but since it was such a wet day, I thought it would be mean. So I sat on my sofa with my canvas on my lap, and she sat in her chair and watched me.

That should have been my first clue. She never, ever takes an interest in what I am doing unless she is going to respond in a manner that involves teeth or claws. But she was just sitting, not poised to pounce, so I didn't pay any attention.

My second clue should have been the sound the stiff bristles of the paintbrush were making on the canvas. "Scritch, scritch, scritch" "Scrape, scrape, scrape" "Scritch, scrape, scritch". But she just sat there so I didn't pay any heed.

It had taken me an hour to do what I was doing. For some reason I find shades of green very hard to blend so my petunia plant was really the result of some painstaking labour. Then suddenly-WHAP! a ginger paw reached across my painting, smearing lovingly crafted leaves into one big blob and stamping pawprints on what was intended to be a blue building and the sky. I wailed the phrase that must be very familiar to my upstairs neighbours by now: "Fussy, NOOOO!"

Worse than a smeared painting, I now had a cat with a green foot loose in my flat. Since I was using oil paint I really wanted to contain this disaster before I really lost my damage deposit! Then I realised I had forgotten to get a piece of paper or something to put my brush on so I had to hold it between my teeth while I chased the cat. It wasn't a small brush either! Then I had to attempt to wipe her feet clean with a towel which was even harder since you can't put turpentine on a cat!

Now she's outside. As for me, the damage total is: the painting, a shirt, a pair of trousers, a towel, and a small bit of the carpet. Wonder if I can market the canvas as "Amazing Painting Done By Cat". If it sold, I have lots of other ones: "Sunset With Pawprints", "Castle With Pawprints" "Portrait of Cat Featuring Her Very Own Pawprints".

And for some reason I still love the little beast!

Copyright © Cait O'Connor
October 15, 2001

Read Cait's other story: Cats, Wonderful Cats