After reading Craig Hockenberry's Bat Story, I must say: Bad Bat technique! I have had several bat experiences. The first time, my cat Sugar dispatched said bat in one swoop. Party over. Poor bat. Good cat. However, kind of having empathy for the poor creatures, the second time a bat appeared I shooed cats into bathroom for bats safety.

Proper bat dispatching goes thus:

Issue a strangled scream when you first see bat.

Run around like a maniac trying to avoid being flown into while still trying to round up cats and put them in "safe" room.

Once accomplished. Scream again trying to avoid bat and go get glass bowl from kitchen (rather large for most coverage).

Holding glass bowl in front of you, arms extended straight out and elbows locked, chase bat around the apartment, screaming sometimes (I don't know why, just seems the thing to do), until bat and bowl meet. Bats are not too quick and have limited abilities. Once in contact with bowl, bring it to floor where poor bat is now huddled in a contrite, helpless pose under glass dome. Place heavy book on top (as though tiny light creature that couldn't launch off the floor even if there *wasn't* a glass bowl over it could do anything). Call animal control who come and get the bat and release it. Which is fine by me.

Proceed to lose sleep for the next six months while wondering each night if the episode is to be repeated.

Copyright © Karen Chuplis
August 26, 2001