Xmas Eve

Sarsi here- yeah I am a queen even if I is a queen missin' my queenly bits as that Tweedy lady said she bin spaded an' she not neuter (Dunzi sez happy Xmas to Boyfie 'cos she fancies him like mad! She gonna be so embarrassed when she find out I told the whole World webby thingy she gotta crush on Boyfie!)

Is Xmas- is time for slaves to be even nicer an' I must admit they bin good today. Meowmie goes do big shop thingy (Sounds like hard work not that we does that- we hears bout it from the Hoomins an' that's as much as I wanna know) 'cos Paw's mum and dad always sends him a thingy that can only be used in the big shop! I don't know the ins and outs of it but they gets this bit of paper an' meowmie goes somewhere an' comes back with goodies for all! This year gonna be special nice 'cos when she come back she got things which means we gots company! You know things what company nibble on an' me and Dunzi we can clean up any dropped bits if they worth havin'. Last year was sad 'cos no company so no dropped bits an' Meowmie was out all the time an' Paw was away but this year he back, so very happy Xmas for kitties! (He had to go outy with the lady wot comes round and makes him go walkies like he a d*g thing still he gettin' to where he can feed us if Meowmie at "work" whatever that is, don't sound like fun so I no do)!

So Meowmie come back from big shop place an' I supervise her puttin' stuff in right place (otherwise maybe she not put our things were she can see 'em an' she lose 'em) an' she moanin' 'bout havin' to wait in queue at bank place 'cos a hoomin "Skimmed" (whatever that is) some plastic thingy- why bother with plastic? You can't eat it can you? Or keep warm when it cold with it an' if Dunzi were awake she'd bore us all by talking about riddin' yourself of material thingies an' diggin' cosmic harmony Me? I digs rock n'roll more than cosmic harmony and if she so against material thingies why she not refuse food? That pretty material ain't it? And would leave more for me!

Anyway bags is undone- big bag of Purina One wiv turkey - it is Xmas after all an' big box of fishy pouchies (Meowmie says the one with sardiny fish stink place out but she gets it 'cos we loves it an' she know better than to not give us what we is wantin'!) an' big box of meaty pouchies an' meowmie is puttin' bags of ham in cold box thing sayin' is for us for Xmas- I try sayin' Meowmie it is Xmas! But she no havin' it...serve her right if I hoik a nice furball for her in mornin'- you know just where she gonna stand on it.. Happy Xmas Meowmie!

So the food is in, Meowmie takes Esther some choco things (Not nice but Esther okay) an' Esther brings another card! Meowmie has loads an' she put them on a nice bit of rope then she put it outta reach so I can't jump on it - she a spoilsport! But they's loads an' a lot from the rpca slaves, which is nice. Meowmie says "Look Sarsi we got cards from American and Australia". Me? I was born inna shed in Feltham what makes her think I even know where these places is?

Anyway then biggie- Paw hungry and Meowmie she get a big bit of chicken outta cold box thing an' Dunzi an' me we gets ready to look cute 'cos it big bit so maybe we gets a bit then Paw he eats one bit an' says he no likes it! What? Is chicken what is there not to like about chicken?! Smell nice to us but Paw he great- he says Meowmie to give it to the cats..that's us! And Meowmie obeys Paw (she don't always) an' she breaks this big bit of chicken,,,proper chicken...an' it all go in our new bowl!

So we has had chicken an' lots an' all an' I knows there ham for us an' we is gonna have people round so it be a proper Xmas not like last year , this year Hoomins come round an' we get petted an' fed. An' Meowmie has presents for us I seen her wrappin' 'em, bet she got me new feather onna stick! An' for all Dunzi talk about ignoring material thingies, I bet she got something wiv Da Nip in it an' let's see if she can ignore that!

(Dunzi here- stupid sisfur forgot to send this...What! She wants to reveal my secret passion for Boyfie to everyone? Okay I'll tell about the picture of Smokey poke what she sleeps with!)

(I just comes back from nibblin' chicken an' Dunzi snickerin' so I reads this- I tell you my reasons for favouring Smokey is he gets lotsa ham an' anyway I figures seducing him an' then serving his head on a platter will win the approval of Nox! I don't fancy him....honest...cross my claws an' hope to die..)

Xmas Day

An' now is Xmas thingy- mind you Meowmie says it got off to a good start since she had to unblock the toilet at just after midnight last night but then we all goes to bed...

We all gots up late- I always gots up late anyway. Then Paw and Meowmie they gotta phone people so they does that while we has a breakfast of munchies an' then Meowmie she does da chicken...this special chicken it "free range" that means it goes where it wants bit like me really (apart from I not go out but I no like out- Dunzi bin out an' says cold an' all that) then once she has done the chicken wiv all trimmings (mostly veggies but there sprouts so I has some of that an' now meowmie is making comments apparently I should have sumthing called an air freshener shoved where the vet sometimes shoves...you gettin' picture? Then again she had some too) Then she go out for a bit an' come back sayin' some people is comin' round tomorrow she says Jim comin' and Jools an' I already knows some more wot is comin' an' Meowmie sayin' she might as well start makin' nibble things now she watched Dr Who so tomorrow we got guests an' all that, which means dropped bits for me an' Dunzi!

An' I got new fether onna stick! An' Dunzi she get mousie with Da Nip so I is runnin' bout an she is lying on floor wiv legs in air huggin' new mousie I think she outta it right now

Meowmie says she gonna make ham sandwiches for tea.. See ya

Boxing day

Is WOW

Xmas woz nice the day after as I woz expectin' the unkas an' aunties came. Some of 'em I not met before but most of 'em I is knowin' an' them wot I didn't know before they turned out to be softies

When they woz arrivin' Paw put on elp song thing one wot starts welcome back my friends (personall I would have got the live aid thingy an' edited so they comes in and hears a chorus singin' "Feed the cat" but no accountin' for Hoomin taste) an' there's a lot a talkin' and coat takin' (Nice there a pile of coats for when we wants a nap- scroungin' and scarp gathering bein' hard work so you needs a break now and then!) then Meowmie sez there food but it for them not us less they drops it or gives us it.

Yeah well...I ain't quite as good at da cute look wot Dunzi got proper (through meowmie and paw is always sayin' 'bout Issis wot they say could have made a statue feed her wiv a look they sez Dunzi an amateur but she do it well I always likes the way she can turn her head just so I tries but I ain't as small an' cute as she is) but we both does well. First of all is unka Hugh, he got a beef sandwich thingy- I is pleased to report he got sandwhich thingy guess who gets da beef an' Dunzi doin' very well wiv chicken front

An' this gon til late- at one point they all took Paw out to the pub- bit ami-bivalent on that. Don't like bein'in alone but Paw gotta learn walkies I mean if Meowmie went somewhere ! You unnderstan I wants her not to 'cos she very nice an' Paw at moment can't go get gooshy food an' crunchies but he has to go walkies just in case like...

I just bein practical

Anyway Paw makes his way to the pub an' back and theys all cheerin' so is good special as they then again hungry this time unka Matt gets sandwich thingy an' I gets the ham!

So woz good

Today Meowmie checkin' cold box thingy an' sayin' she gots too much stuff an' some of that posh ham needs to be used...

Xmas v.good an' gettin' better!

Happy New year!

Copyright © Lesley Madigan
January 2, 2008