Hopie the cat was not the most affectionate being in the world, but she was had a "just" good enough a personality that she was fun to have around and sometimes actually acted like a "regular" pet (she was likely ill during those instances). Often she would grant the privilege of allowing herself to be petted for a few brief moments. You never knew if she would just sit there (very lucky), get up and leave or take a little nip of the hand that fed her and bought her treats at the Safeway.

One evening I was bored and decided to do some cat science to answer the important question "how many times I could kiss Hopie the cat on the forehead before she would have enough and would walk away." She was sitting on the end of the waterbed in her own private corner with both front paws folded underneath her - acting as if she owned the place. So I started to kiss her on the forehead (she would usually put up with one or two). I figured she would split on about number six or seven. But no. Five times - Hopie still purring apparently appreciating the special attention.
Ten times - Hopie gets bored.
Fifteen times - Hopie considering leaving.
Twenty times - Hopie looks annoyed.
Twenty-five times - I am pushing my luck.
Twenty-six and twenty-seventh kiss on forehead - way past sane.
Seems as if Hopie will put up with 27 kisses on the forehead but not one more. Twenty-eight times was over the threshold. She whipped out both front paws and wonked me on each side of chin and had her hands folded back underneath her before I could blink. The cat was a magnificent boxer with lightening fast reflexes (fairly safe bet she would have leveled Tyson). After dying from cancer two years ago, Hopie is up in Kitty Heaven, probably smacking somebody in the head for annoying her. What a cat!

What did I learn?

1) I had way too much free time on my hands a few years ago,
2) Hopie the cat did run the place, and
3) 28 times is one too many.

Hopie "this Bonkers is for you wherever you are!"

Copyright © Tim Pfohl
October 12, 1998