I once had a stand-off kitty named IBK (Itty Bitty Kitty), the original "Kneel Human!" In a flight of insanity I entered her in a cat show in household pet. As I put IBK in the judging cage I whispered "Win and there's a can of Alpo liver in it for you. Loose and I go home alone." What followed was scary.

The judge was having a bad day with the long hairs, he'd been hissed at clawed at and generally told to bug off. With IBK's nature I figured he'd be lucky to escape with his life. To my surprise when he pulled her from the cage she purred at him. He promptly gave her the best temperament ribbon.

Now it gets really disgusting. As he tried to examine the other cats IBK would bat at the ribbon in her best sweet kitten manner. The crowd would go "Awww" the judge would turn to look and she'd do the cute kitten blink blink. I was getting embarrassed! Talk about false advertising! IBK was small (5 lb) Plush coated panda with big golden eyes, but she NEVER did cute at home. There she was more a cross between Hitler and a marine DI.

As the judge started giving out the winners awards (starting from 5th and going up) I heard someone in the audience say "If 357 doesn't win there's gonna be a riot!" Needless to say (so I'm gonna say it anyway) IBK came home with the Morris Trophy. Of course she went back to her "normal" ways at home.

CATS! Can't live with them ... can't escape from their ownership.

Copyright © Kit Morrandd
August 26, 1998