AILUROPHILE ENTERPRISES "The Purrfect Communications Company" INTERNAL MEMO To: All office staff From: Management As you know, Ailurophile Enterprises prides itself on being an affirmative action organization. This is why we agreed to hire an all-feline home office staff. The human who works with you in the office greatly enjoys your company. However, despite efforts to create a positive working environment, certain problems have arisen which we in management believe should be addressed and corrected in an inter-human-feline spirit of cooperation. OFFICE HOURS: It seems that despite our efforts to arrange a system of flextime to accommodate all staff members, at many times during the work day no one is present in the office. Various reasons have been given for this, including the need for lunch breaks, calls of nature etc. We have installed litter pans and food and water dishes in the office, but these prolonged absences continue. LACK OF SUPERVISION: We have appointed a feline office manager, but unfortunately he is absent from the office for most of the work day, preferring to lounge outside on the veranda of the residence housing the office. We have few clients who visit the premises, so it is unnecessary to have someone at the front door to greet them. His services are more important upstairs in the office. WORK LOAD: A few short guidelines apply here. Photocopying does not mean sleeping on the photocopier. Filing does not involve curling up and napping in the filing cabinet=s bottom drawer. Computer work does not mean marching across the keyboard or dangling one=s tail in front of the monitor screen while a human is using it. USE OF THE TELEPHONE: We have excused our feline employees from placing calls because of the size of cats' paws in relation to the buttons on the dial. However we have been losing business from the staff's attempts at answering incoming calls, resulting in the receiver repeatedly being knocked from its cradle. We are certain that, despite the independent nature of cats, you will pull together in a team effort to improve workplace efficiency. Then again, perhaps not. However, rest assured that in any case you will always remain on the payroll. Management AILUROPHILE ENTERPRISES "The Purrfect Communications Company" Proprietor: Bob Catt Office Associate: Martha Catt Office Associate: Emily Catt

Copyright © Bobcat
July 30, 2001