Juliet

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From: Carrie
To: Juliet
Subject: Lonely Hearts for Cats
Date: Oct 1, 2001

Dear Miss Juliet

Tell me - how does one get to become such a femme fatale as your good self? Hobbes, Dusty and Shmogg all vying for your affections - how do you cope?

Surely somewhere out there is a gentlemancat with a little room in his heart for a somewhat cuddly ladycat such as myself. I have my own hair, almost all my own teeth, and no dependants (I did have rather a lot of dependants, but was fixed before I came to my new home, so no more of the kitten thing, thank goodness). And, unlike Jasper with whom I have the misfortune to share my home, I can see off d*gs, miaow properly, and am not afraid of small cat toys. Neither have I ever been found drinking out of the toilet.

Any advice you could offer would be much appreciated.

Carrie

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From: Juliet
To: Carrie
Date: Oct 4, 2001

Dear Carrie,

Fortunately, I have been blessed with good looks and a charming disposition, which is why so many boy kitties find me irresistible. Do not fret though Carrie, because *all* girl kitties are adorable, and I'm sure that you will soon be courted and wooed, as befits a discerning girl-kitty such as yourself.

Purrs,
Miss Juliet.

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From: Carrie
To: Juliet
Date: Oct 5, 2001

Dear Miss Juliet

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. As you may have noticed, I am now being assiduously courted by the delectable HRFL Tiger, who has gone so far as to pen a poem in my honour.

This has thrown the Jasper-cat into a state of the wibbles; he's now trying to write something for Tanada. I think he's unused to the ways of wooing women; he lived with his mother for so long, then alone with the hoomins for a few months when she went to the Bridge, and now two years with me. Perhaps I should be a gracious cat and consent to help him in his endeavours?

Off to dream of my handsome Tiger,

Carrie