Flippy's Cat Page - Kitties vs. Kids

KITTIES VERSUS KIDS

Cats are better than kids because...

Cats don't call you old fuddy-duddy when you don't let them go to a rave or to the latest horror flick.
Cats don't get upset when you don't buy them the newest I-pod or fastest computer. They may gripe if you don't buy them the smelliest cat food but that is easy to deal with. You just give in.
Cats don't care if you aren't dressed up in the latest fashions when you go out.
After a hard day's work looking for a job, cats don't question why you don't already have a job.
by Bill Chandler

They do not *shriek* like small children do.
They are never embarrassing in a restaurant (Unfortunately, restaurants don't *allow* cats but still....)
The only high they are interested in is catnip. (And its legal!)
They don't have to be taken to school at O'Dark Thirty in the mornings!
They LIKE it when you are lazy and don't go anywhere - especially if you stay in bed!
Cats do not incessantly bounce large balls in the street and seem oblivious to the constant "thud" "thud" "thud" of such games.
It is unlikely one will get called to the Principal's office due to their cat's behavior.
Leaving your cat alone in the house for several hours will not get you investigated by social services.
No one thinks less of you if you only feed them canned food or ready to eat food from a bag or box.
by Susan F.

When a cat sits on your knee, it stays inert and does not thrash about in a blur of knees and elbows and fidgeting fits.
My cat does not press buttons on the laptop to 'see what happens'.
When the cat stays out all night carousing, I am only mildly concerned instead of tearing my damn hair out.
The cat doesn't shout loudly from the bathroom to tell me that he has 'done a big poo'.
The cat doesn't want 'that one' and 'that one' and 'that one' and 'that one' ad nauseum.
If the cat climbs up to the top shelf of the airing cupboard he simply leaps down gracefully of his own accord instead of screaming blue murder that he is stuck!
by Kirmildew

They come toilet-trained.
They mind about as well as kids.
They care not one whit about being in vogue.
They don't demand their own car.
by Sandra Snider

When cats sneak into bed they wont wet the bed.
When your feeling down cat know and come and give you a cuddle .
Cats are a living hot water bottle in winter.
Cats enjoy the Christmas Tree more then the gifts under it.
A cat's purrr can heal.
You can play with a cat and it wont go off and cry if it doesn't get its own way.
Cats will kill that big spider your partner is scared of.
Cats food bill: $10/week, partner's/child's bill: $50-200/week.
A cat doesn't need an expensive car/boat/house etc.
Quote by Garfield “Love me, Feed Me, Never Leave Me” sums up every cat.
by Amanda

They don't take up as much room in your bed.
They are soooooo much cuter than any kid.
They have lovely fur.
They don't cry (not like humans anyway!)
They are cheaper to feed and keep in general.
You can make them a much loved toy out of a scrunched up piece of paper.
They don't harass you for Barbie's Psychadelic Dream House 3000.
They don't say "But all the other cats have one!"
They aren't half as annoying when they whinge and complain.
Just because I have way more patience for cats!
by Sophie Rutzou

Cats never question the taste of your TV entertainment.
Kids don't purr and cuddle your face.
Kids wouldn't be impressed with your brand new empty box.
Your 7-year-old kid wouldn't sit in your lap and rub his or her face on yours just for a cuddle.
Cats don't insist on the latest fashions.
Cats still love you if you're fat, thin or in-between.
Kids don't purr.
Cats don't cry or call you ugly names.
by Susan England

I stay out until three in the morning... the cats are the ones waiting sleeplessly for me to return.
Litterboxes smell less than nappies & you can keep further away from them.
Cats need feeding only twice a day.
Cats don't need the "latest" things, and the fun stuff you can buy them is cheaper.
Cats don't care what you do, whether their food is home cooked or about anything other than having a warm place to sleep, clean water, plenty of food, and lots of fuss and attention.
Cats don't use up all the milk in the fridge and not tell you.
Cats let you continue to live your life...and they live theirs.
Cats manage to look completely cute and irresistable.
Cats never whine or say "I want, I want I want".
Cats never have tantrums and wail loudly (unless there is really something wrong).
Cats don't disturb other people in restaurants and behave badly public places (well mostly!)
Cats wash themselves and don't leave a trail of dirty laundry behind them.
by Claire Millington

You don't need to sleep with someone to get a kitten.
You don't have to wait nine months.
You don't run to the loo and get fat.
Best of all.. kittens grow into cats, many kids grow into brats!
by David Glass

Kids don't purr!
by Kim Cable

With kitties, you can leave a huge mound of food on the floor, a dripping faucet, and a clean box of sand, go away for the weekend, and NO ONE will arrest you. Try THAT with a two year old kid...
by Ed the Nurse

Veterinarians have evening hours.
Your kitten won't be able to disturb the whole movie theater with its crying. Hell, you don't even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don't, you don't even have to worry about whether or not the sitter is available tonight.
Your kitten won't grow out of those cute but expensive clothes within three months.
Kittens look cute if they haven't had a bath this month.
You probably don't have to lie awake nights wondering how you are going to finance your kitten's college (or high school) education.
No one will accuse you of being an unfit mother if you don't want to breast-feed your kitten.
No one will accuse you of perversion or sexual abuse if you fondle your kitten.
Dan Quayle can't accuse you of destroying the moral fabric of the country if you aren't married to the father of your kitten. In fact, nobody will ever ask you if you know who the father is.
No one will question your abilities to function normally at your job when they hear you just got a kitten.
You only have to change a litter box once a day.
by Dawn Myfanwy Cohen

They don't demand pocket money.
They don't slam doors.
They don't demand lifts every where.
They don't mind if you turn over from cartoons on telly.
They don't run up phone bills.
They don't constantly repeat the mantra "It's not fair!"
They don't get embarrassed when cuddled in front of company.
They clean their own dirty bums.
They don't grow out of their clothes every couple of months.
They don't scuff their brand new, first time on, patent leather Party shoes.
by Patch

They don't borrow your clothes for Halloween and look better in them than you do.
by Dave Gerecke

Cats don't total the family vehicle!
Cats never need money.
Cats don't diss their parents, in public or otherwise.
You will never get a call from an E.R. telling you your cat is in critical condition from a drug overdose/DUI accident/near-drowning/gunshot wound.
Cats, no matter how old, still cuddle up to you (never mind that they may really be "heat-seeking missiles" covered with fur).
by Maskvcat

They don't decide to get body parts pierced that are not publicly viewable.
by Seanette Blaylock

They don't hog the computer chatting with their friends.
They don't hog the telephone chatting with their friends.
They don't require transportation to various sporting events (like hockey and softball) along with all the equipment required to play.
by Robin Ilardi

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