When I told the vet that I planned to give Kitty a bath, he just looked at me with a wry smile and said "Good luck!"

I wasn't naive, years ago one of our cats, Nukie, a Siamese with a body like Mike Tyson and claws like Freddy Kruger had gotten into some rotten fish guts in the neighbor's garbage and stunk so bad that you could smell him from twenty feet away. I thought a bath was in order. Nukie didn't agree.

His smell went away in about a week. My wounds didn't heal for a month.

I didn't try that again for about ten years when Stubby got into some car oil. I was afraid that she would get sick ingesting it so I got set to try another cat bath. Remembering the Nukie experience, I put on a jacket and leather gloves. However, I neglected to wear a helmet and when I cut my hair short, the scars are still visible.

That was about fifteen years ago and although the memory remains, the pain has long subsided so I thought I was ready to try it again. I had seen a program on the Animal Channel about show cats and was amazed to see them shampooed and blow dried. They tolerated it just fine. Some even seemed to enjoy it. It was inspirational!

Unlike my other two incidents, there was really no reason to bathe Kitty, but I thought if I got him used to it when he was little, if something came up where he really needed a bath, it would make things easier.

So we went shopping for Kitten Shampoo and finally found a non-medicated one called "Magic Coat". It had a picture of a cute kitten that looked like Kitty when he was younger, was supposed to be gentle and non-irritating, and smelled like something my wife would use. I figured if it didn't work out for Kitty, we could use it ourselves as it was way too expensive to throw out.

The shampoo sat on top of the refrigerator for about three weeks. Whenever I looked at the bottle, the cute little kitten would turn into a snarling tiger with six inch claws. I just couldn't get up the nerve to try it. But then, unexpectedly, the moment of truth was upon me as I gave Kitty his ear mite treatment and got sloppy with the medication.

I was about to wipe him down with a damp cloth and noticed he didn't smell very good. Evidently he got a bit too rambunctious digging in his litter box and picked up some odor. I needed to clean off the ear mite medicine and remove the smell. This was obviously a sign to stop procrastinating and give Kitty his bath. I broke out in a cold sweat.

As I picked up Kitty and the bottle of shampoo and turned toward the kitchen sink, I had the feeling that this time things were going to work out. I had researched "Cat Bathing" on the internet and felt confident that I was prepared and had a good plan of action.

When I tried to bathe Nukie, I had no idea what to do. I had never washed a cat but had given dogs baths many times. So I decided to try the "put him in a washtub, hose him down, lather him up, and rinse him off" method. That was a HUGE mistake!

At first Kitty was a bit apprehensive as I lowered him onto the towel that I had put in the bottom of the sink so he would have secure footing, but his curiosity soon took over and he wanted to look around and explore this new territory. I didn't put any water in the sink, but instead had a couple of pans of warm water ready and a cup to dip it out and pour it gently on Kitty. He didn't try to escape and all I had to do was hold him gently with one hand under his belly. He was a bit surprised when I poured the warm water on him but he didn't protest so I wet him down and got out the shampoo.

I mixed the shampoo with some water and poured it over him and lathered him up paying special attention to where I had spilled the ear mite medicine and to his stinky hind quarters. I was very careful to avoid getting water or soap in his ears, eyes, or mouth. Rinsing off the shampoo was just a matter of pouring more warm water on him and gently rubbing his fur to make sure the soap was all out.

Even though Kitty never protested during all of this, I knew that if I let him go he would find some other place that he would rather be and I wanted to make sure he was thoroughly dried. This required a couple more hands so I called my wife to help. I had him wrapped up in a towel and was drying him, but he was still very wet. Marsha brought a dry towel and we transferred him to that, but he was still pretty wet and started to shiver.

We didn't know if he was shivering because he was cold or if it was from the stress of the situation, but we wanted to get him dry as fast as we could so he wouldn't get sick and decided to resort to desperate measures. Marsha got the hair dryer, set it on low and fluffed his fur as she blew the warm air all over his body. I thought that the roar of the motor and the air blowing on him would freak him out for sure, but he didn't seem to mind it, and it was doing a good job of drying him. But, he was still a little damp and was still shivering.

We took him out in the sun and set him down on the grass. He stopped shivering immediately. It was about 90 degrees out and he was completely dry in a few minutes. This was his first venture outside and he started to explore the yard. He walked around the watermelon patch, under the cucumbers, smelled the marigolds, explored the leaf tunnels under the grape vines, and generally had a great time. We stayed out with him for about 20 minutes and when we took him back in the house he was totally dry, warm, fluffy, and sweet-smelling.

This turned out to be such a great experience that I won't hesitate to bathe him again if he needs it. We don't plan to make bathing part of his regular grooming, but you never know what an active kitten will get into. I will admit that I prefer his clean, natural kitty fur smell to the sweet perfume of the shampoo, but it only lasted a couple days anyway and he was back to his natural smelling self.

Copyright © Chuck Hintlian
August 22, 2001