10:00am: Get up.

10:15am: Eat, complain about the so-called lack of food in dish.

10:30am: Play.

10:40am: Lie down and go to sleep on owner's desk/chair/bed/etc.

11:20am: Get up, owner went out for a few hours. Play and run around the house chasing things, hopefully making a mess in a few rooms.

11:45am: Tired, go back to sleep.

12:50pm: Eat.

1:05pm: Sleep.

2:00pm: Owner gets home and sees the mess. Play innocent when he/she gets pissed.

2:30pm: Play.

3:10pm: Lie down on owner's favorite chair and go to sleep. When they complain and try to move you, don't give in! Act like you don't care when they finally move you.

3:35pm: Knead/claw furniture and other things, don't stop just because owner says so.

4:00pm: Sleep.

7:00pm: Beg for table scraps. If this fails, jump up and attempt to steal from the plates.

7:25pm: Play, occasionally get picked up by humans.

8:15pm: Go to sleep.

2:00am: Wake up. Chances are all owners are sleeping. Check just to be sure.

2:05am: Run around the house and make all kinds of noises. Knock things over, occasionally stopping to eat, drink, or use the litterbox.

3:05am: Clean self. Puke up annoying hairballs. Shed on furniture.

3:15am: Jump up on any surface higher than 2 feet. Go to sleep.

3:50am: Get up. Jump down from surface, making a loud noise. Try and wake up owners. If successful, meow loudly. Chances are they'll be too lazy or tired to roll outta bed and discipline you.

4:00am: Go back to sleep.

Copyright © Sara
May 12, 1999