I happen to think that MaMa Kitty is an entire Amazing Cat Story. I got MaMa Kitty in the fall of 1988 (I think). MaMa Kitty got her name because I could never pick that perfect name for her. I called her kitty for the longest time and then I found out that she was pregnant. The cat next door broke in to my house and raped her. He actually clawed a whole in the bedroom screen to get to her. Well, that is how she got her name. Anyway...

MaMa Kitty was never a kitty that liked to be loved and cuddled. She was rather cranky. She would hang out with you but just don't think you can put her on your lap and she'll go to asleep. The only time she wanted to cuddle was while she was in labor. She was all over me that day. I took a nap on my bed that afternoon and while I was asleep, she gave birth to 4 kitties right next to me. My boyfriend came home and woke me up just in time to see the last baby being born.

Three of the kitties went to good homes. We kept one, a smoke gray, long hair we named Bear. He looked just like the bear on the California State flag. MaMa Kitty is gray, tan and white calico.

By this time in her life, MaMa was getting an attitude. While she was inside waiting to go outside, and Bear was outside the sliding door, she would start to growl and sneer. As soon as the sliding door was opened, she stepped outside and she would slap Bear across the face. She did this every time. But they sure did play and chase each other outside. They hide and attack each other and do mid-air collisions off each other.

We started noticing papers appearing in our yard. The girls school work from two doors down were blowing around our yard. One day, while I was gardening, I found a stamped phone bill in the bushes. I carefully opened it up to check it out. Sure enough, it was someone's bill with their check in it. It came from the apartments right behind us. I resealed it and mailed to to the phone company. I found packages of cigarettes with cigarettes still in them around the yard. More school work. Junk mail. A laminated map of San Francisco and a book of five star hotels around the world appeared. Then I found six new unopened packages of flower seeds. I planted the cosmos seeds and they grew to be about 5 to 6½ feet tall. They are supposed to get only 3 feet. I needed some nails and MaMa Kitty provided them for me. I had a few plumbing parts I put in the tool box. When I installed a ceiling fan in my kitchen, MaMa brought home the mounting bracket. We had leather work gloves, cloth and vinyl garden gloves, towels and rags and socks. Lots of socks.

One day I found a beautiful fine linen dinner napkin in the yard. Very expensive.

Most of these items were left in the direction pointing to our sliding patio door or our front door. We never found a dead animal on our door step. Occasionally they would find a salamander and play with it. Pack it around draped out of their mouths so they looked like they had handlebar mustaches. Bear would bring in a little baby snake and let it go in the house.

We would get the yard picked up and MaMa Kitty appeared at the window with a new stash. In addition to being the neighborhood klepto, she had a knack for knowing what room I was in when she was outside. I would hear a noise at the window, open the curtains and there she was, claws hooked into the screen, spread-eagle across the window. And she would just give you this weird look like "What's wrong with you?"

MaMa still has not gotten much nicer. She will shred you instantly if you pet her in the wrong place. I had all my friends trained. When they came over and had to use the bathroom, they would wait for MaMa Kitty to come in with them and while they did their business, she was getting a drink from the faucet. She only drank running water from the sink. Doing dishes, getting your own drink. It did not matter. She wanted a drink and you better give it to her. Rattle the newspaper and out of nowhere the cats appeared and sat right on your paper.

One day I watched MaMa Kitty get real edgy and she kept staring out the front door. Without warning, she bolted off the arm of the couch and flew to the front door. She hit the screen door and it opened and she went after a wandering dog 3 times her size and chased him off the yard.

When my 5 year old was born, she would keep an eye on me and if that baby cried, she was right there. I would get a creepy feeling like I was being watched while I gave my son a bath. When I looked over my shoulder, there she was. Sitting on the toilet or sink watching me. If he cried, she stepped over onto the tub for a closer look. She let out a few curt meows to me. She meowed me out at 2:00am one day because the baby was sick and crying. The more he cried, the more she meowed. The real topper was that after her wanderings, she would come in and sit like I have never seen a cat do before. She would sit and lean back with her legs spread, tail between them and she would bend about 3/4 of the way up her back. She looked like a little Buddha. While she sat like that, she would fall asleep. Nothing props her up. It is weird. She looks like a centerfold all spread out.

Well, we realized that most of the papers and socks came from two doors down. The fine linen I returned to my next door neighbor. Her husband is a plumber/contractor and they are from San Francisco. That explained most of that stuff. But how did she get someones cigarettes and out going mail? Did she go inside peoples homes? We thought she should wear a Kitty Cam to record her adventures.

It is amazing but weird! She is still at it, stealing from the neighborhood. She still beats up her son. That is my MaMa Kitty.

I hope you enjoyed this story.

Copyright © Deborah Poncia