Marble

As previously mentioned, as part of my university course, I'm doing a study into what my cats predate upon when they are out in the garden.

The other day Marble brought in a live shrew at about 8:00AM. Shrews are tiny and fierce, as they are omnivorous. This particular shrew was brought in to the dining room and let loose by Marble, whereupon the shrew showed it has more brain cells than Marble, as it showed him the finger before running for cover behind the Hi-Fi unit. Shrew then decided that it was fun to show just how stupid Marble can be, by running all over the ground floor of the house, shouting "Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" at Marble. This went on for hours. During this time, I constantly berated Marble's lack of hunting abilities with comments along the lines of, "Call yourself a cat? You are a disgrace to your species!"

Later that day, I was sat in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee when I noticed a shrew in athletic gear zoom into the kitchen, shouting "Nyah! Nyah!" at Marble, who was behind him. Shrew outpaced Marble easily and took up residence by my left foot. This confused Marble completely, as he knows that to get the claws out anywhere near my skin is a definite no-no. Shrew stayed put and blew raspberries at Marble, who was by now looking a very dejected cat. I leant over and picked Shrew up by the tail. Shrew looked surprised and Marble looked even more confused and dejected at the utter and complete embarrassment of the human catching the shrew before he did. Once again I berated Marble on his lack of hunting skills in a none too polite manner. I took various measurements of the shrew before letting it loose in a quiet corner of the garden, alive to fight another day. Marble slinked out into the garden, tail between his legs, off to sulk under bush - or so I thought.

A few minutes later Marble came back into the house bearing a fully-grown female pheasant in his jaws. He dropped it at my feet and sat there looking at me with a glint in his eye that said, "Now just *dare* criticize my hunting efforts! Go on, I *dare* you!"

Copyright © Helen Simmons
July 28, 2001