Meow Shmogg, PURRS!!

You're very clever for being able to control the can opener's hands like that... it takes years of experience at the Cat Academy to do it well. I should now, I passed the course with flying colors!

Ohh the indignity of it all -- having the drooly thing inside the house. I heard a rumor (a birdie told me) that the drooly thing cleans your butt for you. Well done!! Better than having to do it yourself. (heheheheee) Thank goodness our drooly thing doesn't come inside the house. I tell you, if he did I would be in hiding permanently. I cant stand drooly & smelly things, and that d*g definitely is not my favorite beastie. In fact, if I do come across him in my travels through the backyard, I just give him a very dirty look, or I ignore him altogether. *I* am the superior species, and he better just remember that.

Glad you have forgiven your Meowmie for leaving you, but are you sure you gave it enough time. *I* sulked for more than a month when my Meowmie left me for 7 weeks. But I guess that 7 weeks is a LOT longer than 4 days... and we have to punish them accordingly.

Oh yes, I can imagine that you are your Meowmie's favorite beastie -- why wouldn't you be? You are handsome, aloof, dignified -- royalty personified. :-) My Meowmie loves both me and my brother Romeo. He is such a suck! He cuddles with her all the time, especially when she is taking naps in the afternoon, or watching TV at night. He lets her rub his tummy for hours. I don't mind having my tummy rubbed from time to time, but I think it is so juvenile and childish, so I let Meowmie do it for a minute or two at a time.

So glad that you like the birdie thing. It is SOOOO cool. It is one of my favorite toys. In fact, earlier this evening I picked it up in my mouth and carried it into Meowmie's bedroom. I did want her to play with me, but by the time I got the damn birdie thing to the bedroom, I wasn't in the mood anymore. Heheheheeee. I too have "incredible lightening reflexes", and so does my brother Romeo. You know Shmogg, we have a lot in common... are you sure that we are not related to each other, way way way back when.... ?

Thank you Shmogg for reassuring me that your intentions towards me are honorable. I just *knew* that you would be a perfect gentlecat. Romeo too is a gentlecat, he is very nice to girl kitties, and he looks after me and defends me when we are outside in our backyard and a neighboring cat comes onto our territory. He would make a perfect partner for a nice girl kitty -- too bad I am his sister, otherwise I would definitely go for him, with his good looks, his charm, and his expressive eyes.

No, I haven't met Alexander in person yet, but I have heard a good deal about him and I have seen pictures of him. The problem is that I don't travel well and neither does Alexander. But I have sent him several welcome gifts, including a birdie thing like the one I sent you -- he loves it too. He is a very good-looking cat, just as you are.

How is your bald patch going. I am so sorry that you have had to suffer such indignities, with the smelly thing moving into your territory. Please do not be stressed anymore Shmogg, you know and I know that WE are the superior species. WE do whatever we want. WE are far smarter and more beautiful than any smelly/drooly thing can ever be.

Well I better finish up now, my human is practically falling asleep at the keyboard here, and I don't know how much longer I can keep her awake like this.

I will pass on your regards to Romeo and Alexander.

Look forward to hearing about your latest Bastard Cat Tricks,

Purrs & headbutts,
Your feline friend,
Juliet. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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