Beth Harvey

My Bath
by "Muffet"

I was minding my business and doing no harm,
When I heard a noise and looked up in alarm.

There she was, with tub and soap,
I took one look and gave up hope.

But acted as I was in doubt,
And started to stroll quite casually out.

But she made a grab, and quick as scat,
I was a very wet mad cat.

I tried to hold up my head with pride,
But didn't look very dignified.

When I'm wet I look like a drowned rat,
Which is worse than even the homeliest cat.

She says "Dougie, hold her, while I wash the tail".
At that I felt myself turn pale.

When she finished with my tail,
She dunked me in a big white pail.

"To rinse you off," she said with a smile,
And I was sputtering all the while.

She got some towels to wrap me in,
Round and round, up to my chin.

"Three towels" she said, "is what it took."
But I just gave her a dirty look.

When I got dry, she said "My, you're pretty,
Such a nice white fluffy kitty."

But I don't care 'bout being so fancy.
'Specially when it is so unchancy.

I bathe myself plenty clean enough,
And if you don't think so, well, that's tough.

And if she's going to act like that,
She can get herself another cat.