His Royal Feline Lordship Tiger, and His Knights of the Square Litter Box, Sir William-fatboy, Sir Robertson-hissi-spit, and Sir Sam-lunch-a-lot, have been freeing my house of dangerous and dastardly vermin over the last few days.

We have had a selection of bugs, flies, toothbrushes, pasta shapes (they raided my food cupboards this evening, little tykes!), plant leaves and twigs all efficiently *slaughtered* in the middle of my living room floor.

Tonight, however, they had the slaughter to end all slaughters. Ghengis Khan was *soft* compared to the valiant attempts of my feline crew. Tonight... it was the mousie's turn...

I wouldn't mind, however I was sitting at my desk at the time, and I had said mouse in my hand. Out of no-where, Tiger, doing a great impression of a black Ninja demon landed at my side and wrestled the mouse to the floor. After-all, I was already swearing at it.... and it was posing a deadly threat to the mat on which it was sitting. Suddenly, the poor unsuspecting mouse was flattened by William's 10lb ginger and white furry ass sitting on it.

I could see the cunning in the well executed feline plan.......you sit on it so it doesn't move......we'll tackle the cord! Robbie came in from behind Tiger..... you know the move.... the *follow up and bite it quick then pull as hard as you can so the cord stretches and catches the key-board so that the keyboard falls off the desk followed by my coffee* move. Sam then leapt into the air, executed a perfect 90 degree turn, and slapped William around the head. William obviously wasn't sitting on the mouse hard enough....

By now, the mouse was fighting back... Somehow, the mouse cable managed to wrap its-self around William's tail, and tighten. He panicked. The mouse cord got tighter. Tiger started laughing. The real belly aching Hahahaha kind. William became indignant - even though he was panicking. So he slapped Robbie, then bit him. After all, it was all his fault, it was his idea to kill the mouse, or at least sit on it, in the first place. Sam looked bemused - and then decided he had better help by biting the mouse cord....or that was the theory anyway. He missed and instead got a mouthful of fat, furry, ginger and white backside. Well! That was the FINAL straw! With a god-almighty howl, William ran hell for leather and took my computer mouse with him.

Can you replace snapped mouse cable or will I have to buy a new one??!

Copyright © Helen Miles
August 31, 2000