It's 2:00AM at the Arcamaxchef household and everything is peaceful and quiet... well, almost everything that is, with one major exception: Oscar is hungry.

It all starts out innocently enough with him climbing onto the bed. When he had all four legs he could easily jump up on the bed. Now with only three legs he has to climb. He is very strong and has no trouble with the climb... we won't talk about the effect of the climb on the sheets, comforter and mattress.

Once on the bed Oscar's first maneuver to get my attention is the head-butt. He slowly and deliberately bumps his head into any body part that is exposed from the covers: arms, shoulders, head, face, etc. At this point I am still pretty groggy but I can defend myself by turning over and covering the body part that has been targeted.

The head-butt attack is rebuffed and I slowly slip back into sleep until, until.....YEOWWWW!!!! Oscar attacks my feet. You see, I like to sleep with my feet out from under the covers and when the head-butt attack is unsuccessful, Oscar pretends that my feet are giant mice and pounces on them.

I am not as groggy now but can still defend my sleep by simply pulling my feet under the covers. This is not how I prefer to sleep but at least it keeps my feet from becoming Oscar's late-night snack.

With my feet safely under the covers I now try to get back to sleep. There is one problem: Oscar is still hungry.

Oscar finally pulls out all the stops with his most successful maneuver... the "In Your Face Starring Contest With Extra Purring". Now I don't have a chance. He gets directly in front of my nose, almost touching his nose to my nose, and stares into my closed eyes. For added measure, he purrs as loud as he can. I don't know about you but the effect of someone starring directly into my face when I try to sleep is very disconcerting. Even if I keep my eyes closed I know he is right there... looking at me from one inch away. Plus the purring and occasional licking of the chops is almost deafening in the otherwise quiet night.

By now I am pretty much awake and begin the process of worrying about locking up, turning off, turning down, letting out/in the doors, oven, AC, dog, etc. I give up and go downstairs to feed Oscar. Of course, Oscar is right there with me at every sleepy step down the stairs, trying his best to get tangled up in my feet. I get his high-dollar "good for urinary tract" food from the closet and head for his bowl.

I expect that you all knew from the very beginning of this story that his bowl was half-full of food his entire time. That's right, my cat has spent the better part of an hour and my precious sleepy time in order to get a "top-off" of his food bowl. He eats a few bites and then usually beats me back up the stairs. Oscar is soon fast asleep and snoring while I lay in bed and continue to worry about my kids' future, my real job, the environment, taxes, world peace, the economy and other pressing issues. Oscar is not on the list of issues.

Copyright © ezines@arcamax.com
Email: arcamaxchef@yahoo.com
June 15, 2001