It's seldom nice to receive a tangible present from a Cat. The intangible presents are the best. That snuggle in the night, that "Good Morning!" meow, after you both have been tripping the Light Fantastic in the REM zone overnight, and you first lay eyes on each other in the morning is a special present each day. Even the unexpected cold nose on your leg whilst scraping a sensitive spot on your face is welcome, although not as much appreciated.

Enough; let's get down to brass tacks Those tangible 'pressies' which we get from kitty we could do without. When Cleo was an outdoor Cat, I used to get my share of dead bird debris and mice in the most interesting places. The favourite was mouse heads left on the hood scoop of my car, conveniently on the drivers side, dead black eyes facing me. "See human? 'Cleo at work!', just so you don't starve! Enjoy your day!" I'd get the bloody (literally) things left on my bed quilt in the morning, beside a gloating Cat.

Since moving to a Condo, I've reduced the relative number of 'pressies'. Here thievery is a far greater concern. "If it looks valuable, and if it is not nailed down, TAKE IT!".

However "Pressies" still remain... ah... nothing like stepping into a cold wet strategically placed furball puke first thing on a Monday morning I always say. Isn't amazing how they stick to your toes as you walk down the hall for a paper towel " walk... squish... walk... squish...".

But today I got the best Tangible present ever. I had to write an important cheque, first thing, and after Breakfast, just in my underwear I thought I might as well write it now before showering. I could take off, and pay my debt early. Ignoring my Tabby boy, Tippy, who was trying to tell me something. I got my cheque book from the secretary, put it on the dining room table, retrieved my good fountain pen, and pulled out the head of the table chair and with some ceremony, plopped down and proceeded to write. I got as far as the date... October... ???

What the...?

A warm moist feeling began to seep into my loins, and not the kind a male fancies. Bella left me a Tangible gift. A very wet Tuxedo hairball, intermixed with a few white hairs, and just a bit of food for texture, oh and plenty of upchucked warmed water.

I congratulated Bella for her adeptness, knowing of all the chairs, that's where I would sit. Of course my main concern was for her "You alright Bella?". I swear she meowed what could only be construed as a laugh, and scampered away. Tippy was still meowing... "See! I told you! You won't listen to me!" or something to that effect. As dignified as possible, I marched past Cleo with a wet bottom, to my shower. She looked at me with big green eyes, I'm sure thinking... "Aye but how times have changed".

Copyright © Bill Mason
October 16, 2003