My Cat-Lady status has gotten so bad that I stopped the "Girls Day Out Shopping Expedition" to help a couple who were in a department store, wondering how to deal with their new chinchilla cat.

Picture 7 power-dressed woman in a solid pack, doing a full day of *serious* "retail therapy" in the largest mall in Australia. Picture a couple, minding their own business in the pet aisle, juggling many cat accessories, looking bewildered.

Watch Vicky, the amazing cat lady, hear, with her bionic cat detecting ears, the conversation in the aisle next to her. See Vicky split off from the pack of dressed-to-kill women and approach the innocent couple.

"Hi" I say enthusiastically and without further introduction, say with authority, "don't buy that, its crap". See couple look up and be totally bamboozled by a complete stranger (in power clothing) being a) friendly and b) helpful.

"What do you need?" I ask.

"My cat's got fleas".

"Try Top-Spot, works wonders", I enthuse.

The woman of the couple sees a kindred cat-spirit and warms up immediately. The male sort of backs off a bit, not wanting to admit that he is no longer going to be making and decisions about this purchase.

"I did, and it works, but every time she goes to the vet, she comes back with heaps of fleas".

"Go to another vet", I offer.

"Do flea combs work?"

"Well, sort of, they remove some fleas, but they never get all of them. What sort of cat do you have?"

A truly in depth conversation about a wonderful cream & blue Chinchilla ensues, with much advice about fleas, flea combs (don't by the plastic one, it will break), kitty litter, kitty boxes, shedding and general cooing and ahhing about cats was exchanged.

In the background, see male of the couple slink off to the hardware section, and see the girl-pack attempt to find their missing sister.

Eventually, the woman and I realise that we are in a mall and have others waiting for us rather than being in some sort of cat appreciation society meeting, and split off. She's beaming with her new cat flea comb, cat brush and covered litter tray (2 more items than she originally had, and a more expensive flea comb), and I'm feeling very satisfied at being able to help. The male of the couple, realising once again, that he is no longer the main creature of affection in his lady's life, asks me bluntly how many cats I have. I answer "just one". "Then how do you know all this stuff about cats" he asked, a bit indignantly.

"Ahh", I say like a revered guru, "I have one cat, but I know and love many. There is a group on the internet all about cats".

The woman's ears pricked up as her man and my girl-pack looked on ever more impatiently.

So I wrote down my email address and the letters rec.pets.cats.anecdotes for her and then waved goodbye.

Copyright © Vicky Chapman
April 7, 2000