Hello effurrybody,As any cat knows, humans require a bit of caring for, and are at times rather trying. I've owned my human for three winters now, and I really believe he is ill.
Here's the problem: I've always been a good huntress, and there are plenty of critters around my home, so I've had no trouble in finding and catching food for my human. Now, we all know that the fresher the food is the better, so I used to bring the mice to him while they were still alive. Well, my human always took his food outside, and would always manage to let it escape before making the kill.
Now I understand that humans can't hunt like superior beings (cats, to be specific) can, but one would at least think they could manage a catch when it's dropped right at their feet. Not my human.
Well, I finally realized that I would have to kill the little suckers for my human, just so he wouldn't starve to death. This is where it really gets weird. My human, in all his clumsiness, takes the bodies to the magic water bowl (I guess to wash them before eating), and always loses them. He still hasn't figured out that the magic water bowl makes things disappear (with a frightening whoosh sound), so he keeps losing his critters before he can eat them.
Has anyone else had a human with this problem? If so, I'd like to learn if this condition is curable, or if there is something else I should be doing. Should I try to shove little chunks of food into his mouth while he's sleeping? Should I be trying a different kind of food (I've tried mice, moles, voles, rabbits, birds and snakes already)?
I'm afraid for my human, for he really should eat something. I've done everything for him... I let him sleep in my bed, I give him dignity and a sense of purpose in life by letting him let me in and out of the house (he forgets that I have a cat door), I try to improve the look and feel of his furniture by working it with my skilled claws, AND I let him pet me. So, why can't I get him to eat?
Purringly yours,
Puss in Distress.EDITOR'S NOTE: The animated picture above of Frank Winking is used with permission. It belongs to GKShadow who lives with 16-year-old Frank in Michigan, USA.
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