Q: What is a cat's favourite breakfast cereal?
A: Mice Krispies.

Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
A: So he won't be spotted.

Q: What do you call a cat who does tricks?
A: A magic kit.

Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?
A: Light mouse work.

Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Q: Which state has a lot of dogs and cats?
A: Petsylvania.

Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
A: Catch.

Q: What do English cats drink in the afternoon?
A: Kit-tea.

Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
A: To a mewseum.

Q: How do you call a barber cat?
A: Yell..."Hair Kitty!"

Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs.

Q: What did the cat who had no money say?
A: I'm paw.

Q: What do you get if you cross an alley cat with a Chinese cat?
A: A Peking Tom.

Q: What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What colour is a happy cat?
A: Purrple.

Q: What gift of jewellery makes a cat happiest?
A: Purrls.

Q: If humans are people, what are cats?
A: Purrsons and Purrdaughters.

Q: Humans buy food, how do cats get it?
A: They purr-chase it.

Q: hat do you call a cat who refuses to play?
A: Non-purr-forming.

Q: How do you describe the interweaving melodies of a group of happy cats?
A: Purr-plexing.

Q: What do you call a cat who motivates you to get organized?
A: A catalyst.

Q: What do cats call a petty thief?
A: A purr-snatcher.

Q: When a good cat dies how does she know she has reached heaven?
A: The purrly gates.

Q: What does a cat wear for special occasions?
A: A purr-suit.

Q: What is the best colour for a cat's eyes?
A: Purriwinkle blue.

Q: How do you describe a truly dedicated cat?
A: Purrnicious.

Q: What form of arithmetic do cats do best?
A: Purrcents.

Q: What cat should you be afraid of?
A: A fur-some one.

Q: How long does a cat nap?
A: Furty winks.

Q: What do you call cat ESP?
A: Purrmonition.

Q: A cat asking for treats is?
A: Purrsistent.

Q: How do you describe a good-looking cat from down south?
A: Real purrty.

Q: How do you describe a Cornish Rex cat?
A: A cat with a purrmanent wave.

Q: How do you describe a place dangerous for cats?
A: A purrless situation.

Q: What vegetable do cats detest?
A: The purrsnip.

Q: How do you describe a lonely tom-cat?
A: Purrient.

Q: How do cats answer a yes-or-no question?
A: Purrhaps.

Q: Do cats knit?
A: No, but they purrl.

Q: How do you describe someone who is afraid of being in a small room with an angry cat?
A: Clawstrophobic.

Q: What happens if you lock a cat up alone for too long?
A: The room gets clawtered.

Q: How can you tell a cats favourite room?
A: It gets that homey claw-teared look.

Q: Why do cats need claws?
A: To be cloying.

Q: What brand of watches to cats wear?
A: Timex - it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Q: How do you stop these puns?
A: Turn the emergency catoff valve.

Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!

Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
A: She's got that down in the mouth look!

Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-log!

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!

Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!

Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
A: 'Let us prey.'

Q: Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
A: There was some money in the kitty!

Q: What do you call a cat that has swallowed a whole duck?
A: A duck-filled-fatty-puss!

Q: What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
A: He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.

Q: Why did the cat walk in the desert and think he was at the North Pole?
A: Because he looked down and saw Sandy Claws.

Q: What does a cat get from watching too many Mickey Mouse films?
A: Disney Spells.

Q: Where did the first cats live?
A: Purr-sia and Paw-tugal.

Q: What do you get if you cross a budgie with a cat?
A: A peeping Tom.

Q: Hear about the cat called Ben Hur?
A: They called it Ben for two months until it had four kittens.