My house is near a pub, and this evening at chucking out time, I heard sounds of shouting and a major domestic argument breaking out along the lines of "NO! I wasn't looking at her legs you b*tch" and "you're an' effing &%#@" etc.....

At the sound of the first shout, 4 cats shot to the bedroom window and were craning their necks to see what was going on. Pandora looked horrified. She's never heard language like it in her life, and she very, very rarely hears a raised voice. Sam wasn't too impressed either, as the argument got under way, he ran under the bed with Pandy and hid. (The voices by this time were right outside my house.)

Tiger and Robbie on the other hand were highly amused. They *love* a good argument, especially when they aren't involved and they get to watch people screaming at each other in the street.

Tiger: "The language! - you'd think they had been bred in a sewer."
Robbie: "You can talk, your father was an alley cat."
Tiger: "Speak for yourself." [swipe]
Robbie: "you calling me common??" [hiss]
Tiger: "You said it!" [swat] [swipe]
Robbie: "Bas**rd, I'll get you for that." [hiss, hiss, swat]
Tiger: "F**K You!" [wallop, thump]
Robbie: [smack, smack, thump, hiss]

Heaven help me if I ever had kids! Cats are bad enough!

Copyright © Helen Miles
June 7, 2001