In reply to Vicky's complaint regarding Shmoggleberry's "Contractual Obligation",
Master MacTavish replies with the following:
TO: Master Shmoggleberry
C/O Vicky Chapman @ Flippy’s Catpage
FROM: Kat / Human Advocate Services
Dear Sir,
It has come to our attention that you have not been fulfilling your side of the Kat/Human Bargain as itemised in the Advocacy Manual, Line 32, Paragraph 46, Page 307.
A cat has a duty to its human to sleep with it at all times, to make said sleep as uncomfortable as possible for owned human by using all kinds of wily methods.
These your human will deem “cute” and much will be awarded to you in treats, toys and goodies if you are prepared to compromise on this subject. By sleeping with your human and making it as uncomfortable as possible, life can become extremely rewarding. You will get as much of the bed as you please, as many trips to the litter tray as you deem fit, you may still wake your human for the “good” food at ungodly hours with less effort on your part as you will be, ”on the spot”, so to speak. During cold weather, humans, their beds and their covers provide welcome warmth and you may take as much of the covers as you please. This, too, your human will permit.
Please, Mr Shmoggleberry, do not force this issue. We do NOT want to have to inform Ms Chapman of her rights against your good self.
Sincerely,
Master MacTavish
Scottishfold Paradise
Mediator for Kat/Human Advocacies.
Copyright © Jo Gray
February 20, 2007
