Living with cats is never boring, and although cats like routine, they can occasionally vacillate from the norm, just to throw a little spice into your, and their lives.

Take Velvet, for example... {{Please! TAKE her!}}. For years now, every morning as I go for my shower, she likes to grab the toilet paper roll with her long black legs, pull some down, and eat some. Good to have bulk in your diet, I guess. A while ago, a few months ago to be more exact, she stopped doing this. Maybe being 18 pounds now, she didn't need the bulk. Personally I picture the insides of this cat as being like an advertisement for "Recycle Monthly". However, now we have a new trick... called... "Let's Pull All The Toilet Paper Off The Roll!"

Several days ago I was greeted by a mountain of virgin white, 3-ply, quilted jumbo-sized b*m wad on the bathroom floor. I knew it wasn't Cleo; such activities fall far below HRH's morals. Velvet flew excitedly past my red face, which was issuing "explicative deleted". That evening, all was forgiven, as she happily flopped beside me on the couch, expansive belly up to the sky. I told her she was something else, and even had a chuckle about it. Same thing the next morning, the lovely sea of white. So now I got wise, and shut the bathroom door.

Next day while getting into the shower, I heard the unmistakable thumping of not-so-little feet on the wall, and look out past the curtain, to see the busy little feet, working away. Hollering and screaming didn't seem to work. But shower water did. Now the roll has to sit on the floor, farther out of reach.

Little devil. I now have enough off-roll toilet paper to reach from home, all the way to work, I figure!

Copyright © Bill Mason
October 10, 2001