Why do cats have an insatiable appetite for getting into trouble?

Velvet loves high places, a lot of cats do. She just loves to propel her rotund black cannonball body up to the stove, then up to the top of the fridge, settling down near the back where it is warm, and looking down on me with dreamy big green eyes. Cleo, however, has no interest in counters, tables, couches, or chairs, except HER chair in HER room. Regalness needs no heights to achieve due respect.

Now, you ask, all seems so peaceful here... How did Velvet end up "Sky Diving?"

My kitchen ceiling is one of these "sunlight" ceilings, with florescent bulbs covered by a false ceiling of large white plastic panels, so the light is diffused, and seems to come from everywhere. Didn't take Velvet long to think it was a "higher" room, just cat sized, a true vantage point for looking down at the human.

Wrong.

I'm in the living room, and hear her pounding on the plastic panel above the fridge. I yell at her to stop. Sometimes, I think she's deaf, but how is it she can hear the quiet *swissh* of a can of cat food being opened whilst asleep on the bed 30 feet away? Some questions shouldn't be answered.

I get up to start my dinner. I don't see Velvet on the fridge anymore, funny, I can usually see her jump down from the stove from the couch. I call her.

"Velvet?"

"Merrooow?" comes the answer from directly over my head.

Above me I can clearly see the outline of four paws, and a black shadow blocking out the light like a storm cloud through the opaque plastic panel. Which is buckling downward...

*BOOOM!* The panel gives way, and 18 pounds of terrified black feline fur gives up to gravity and falls below. At first, she was still on the 3 foot by 3 foot panel as it fell. (sort of like those skydivers who have those skis attached to their feet.) I moved in and made an attempt to catch her, and she bounced off my shoulders and hit the kitchen floor running.

Under the bed for an hour. Just two big green eyes amid a mass of black fur. Cleo was not amused. Nor was I, trying to get the panel back in place, now with a big crack down one side.

Velvet came out, and told me a story for about 4 minutes, and ran with her head down through the kitchen for the food bowl. Yessir, skydiving will give you an appetite, and, for once, I made sure she had plenty to eat.

What next?

Copyright © Bill Mason
October 26, 2001