Reow! Reow! Reow!

I know what this sound means. This is the sound of a greedy cat that thinks that just by making "breakfast" sounds, he can scam another feeding in before I go to bed.

Shmoggleberry gets wet food for breakfast and tea, and has kibble to free-feed on at any time. This cat could not possibly be hungry.

Trying very hard not to sound like my mother, and failing badly, I try to reason with the intractable one.

"Its not going to feed you! You got dinner and that will do till morning"

Reow Reow! REOW!!!!

"No, you aren't going to get any more"

Shmoggleberry does his very utmost to convince me that not only is he a half-starved waif, and that I should take pity on him and feed him immediately, he also gives me that certain look to say that if *don't* feed him, I am the worlds worst human being, even worse than Hitler, Saddam and Milosovic combined.

"Not going to work, Beast, try it on someone who cares."

Shmoggleberry, surprisingly, wanders off, possibly to give Joel the same serve.

A few minutes later I get the "Me-Roo?" sound, which in general means something terribly important, but humans are too stupid to understand. At least its not the "feed me" thing again.

Shmoggleberry trots off down the corridor. I happen to going in the same direction. Shmoggleberry ducks into the laundry and once again examines his perfectly well filled crunchie bowl. He turns to me with a forlorn look "Me-Roo?", he begs.

"You know as well as I do that there is plenty of food in that bowl", says I, still under the hopeful delusion that one can reason with a cat.

I honestly would not believe this if I hadn't seen it myself. While all the time looking intently at me, Shmoggleberry *carefully* knocks over his bowl, scattering the kibble all over the floor and rights the bowl again. He looks into the bowl, looks up and me, and repeats, with a little more certainty "Me-Roo?".

Of course, there was no more food in his crunchie bowl. Had I been more bloody minded, I would have just left it there, but having a bad incident with floor-poisoned food, I cleaned it up and gave him some more kibble, fresh this time. I'm sure he made a self-satisfied "Ner-Nee-ner" sound before he started chowing down. Smart arse!

Bastard Cat 5, Human 0

Copyright © Vicky Chapman
July 10, 1999