There! It moved again! I put my head low to the ground, and put pressure on alternate paws, my rear end and tail swaying in the air. The timing is perfect. I jump through the air, and pounce on that stupid mouse. DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! I pummel it with my claws until it must be dead. Then I move back, and observe. It doesn't move. I prod it a bit. Still, no movement. Suddenly, it's full of life and leaps impossibly into the air, over to the other side of the room. Why does it never die? I give chase.

Meanwhile, the human stands there. "Well done Smudge!" he occasionally says, in a very patronising voice. Instead of just arsing around why doesn't he help me catch and kill this stupid thing? The mouse is running very rapidly around his legs, again and again. I'm still chasing but I never quite reach it. It then takes off and flies around him! What the hell is going on? Wait! Is that string I see attached to it? Oh no! I've been had! I stop giving chase suddenly and stare at a spot outside, far, far away, and of much more importance than the stupid human's game. He stop swinging around and the toy mouse plonks down mockingly at his feet.

"Silly cat" says the human.

I look up and quickly around, before pouncing on the toy, knocking it into the human's feet. To finish it off I *accidently* scratch and bite the human's stockinged feet.

Yelps of pain follow me up the stairs, where I hide under the bed. That'll teach him to make a fool of me.

Useless human.

Copyright © Smudge
June 4, 2001