As some of you know, we have recently added to our family. Lucille, Cat Numero Uno and the Boss of Everyone, has adjusted very well to the 2 additional cats, but let's just say, she doesn't quite appreciate the virtues of our latest addition, the dog.

Zoie is a mid-sized dog, which Lucille resents because now she isn't the biggest non-human. Lucille is obviously the intellectual superior, but Zoie doesn't seem to appreciate her as such. Sort of like a "Schmoggleberry and Fluffy Bizzaro World," Lucille has developed a type of obsession with the dog and Zoie has decided to ignore the cat.

Lucille now spends most of her waking hours concerned with what Zoie is doing. If Zoie is walking around, Lucille follows her from a distance, watching her every move. Lucille has strategized different places where she can safely stand and swat at Zoie if she happens to walk by. Lucille will puff, growl, hiss and glare menacingly at Zoie, even if Zoie briefly wakes from a nap and lifts her head. Yesterday, Zoie happened to awaken to Lucille sniffing her head, and Lucille promptly smacked her on the forehead and did her best Halloween-cat impression, poised for combat. Zoie lay her head back down, which was a terrible offense, I guess. This action completely enraged Lucille, who glared at Zoie with Medusa eyes, growling and hissing intermittently. I swear, if her eyes could shoot laser beams, they would have, and Zoie would have been toast.

I am beginning to feel sorry for Zoie. I mean, we were so worried about her chasing the cats, and now the poor thing's got a crazed cat stalker about, and all she wants to do is sleep; not to mention the rest of the cats' rude behavior towards her: Stan will occasionally become "trapped" in the kitchen alone with her and cry at the top of his lungs for me or hubby to "rescue" him; Benjamin occasionally straddles Zoie's head to get a whiff of that doggie biscuit breath; and Daniel -- well, Daniel alternates between being her best friend and using her for a target for hissing practice. And then there's ..... me.

I am not anywhere near what would be referred to as a "dog person," but I have to say, I am embarrassed by my cats' lack of diplomacy in this matter. Their sometimes hostile behavior, especially Lucille's is really unnerving. They are so lucky they smell good and are so darn cute and snuggly!

Copyright © Marcia T.
February 15, 2000

Read Marcia's story: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas