It came to pass that, in the Year of our Cat Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Five that the Prophet Jeff did receive a vision of the Great Cat.

And it came to pass that the Great Cat did speak unto the Prophet Jeff, saying unto him, "Behold the Cat which is Master of thy Girlfriend Elizabeth, and know that verily He is the Ascendant Master of this age; for Friedrich Amadeus von Beethoven is verily the Earthly Presence of the Great Cat, and behold He is the Center of the Universe and the Universe Itself.

"Therefore shalt thou observe the Commandments of the Great Cat:

"Thou shalt remember the Food Dish, to keep it clean and in the very presence of Purina, for the Great Cat is a hungry cat.

"Thou shalt make the offerings of Catnip regularly, for verily it is a sweet savor unto the Great Cat.

"Thou shalt remember the Doctor of the Great Cat, for he is a man of skill and honor who delights in caring for the Great Cat, and delights in those who provide care as well; for those who care for the soul of the Great Cat do honor Him in the diligent care of his spirit and bodily form."

And it came to pass that the Great Cat did address the Prophet Jeff thuswise and said unto him, "And this commandment shalt thou follow, that thou must pet the Great Cat with regularity and frequency, and listen for the Most Glorious Sound of Purr. For verily I say that this is the sound of the Center of the Universe and the Universe Itself, for in the Petting of the Great Cat there is Good Karma directing itself at those who need it, and the Most Glorious Sound of Purr shall put all things to right."

And it came to pass that the Prophet Jeff thus addressed the Great Cat saying, "I do thy bidding, Most Great Cat; but lo, thou art the Master of the Girlfriend Elizabeth, and do not reside under my roof. How then may I pet thee, when I am not in thy earthly presence?"

And it came to pass that the Great Cat did speak and said, "Concern thyself not, for behold, all Cats are the extension of the Great Cat, and when thou dost pet them thou dost pet me, and their Most Glorious Sound of Purr is also mine, for all Cats are one and are the Center of the Universe and the Universe Itself."

And it came to pass that the Prophet Jeff was sore troubled and did say, "But this is a mystery unto me, for how is it that all Cats are truly One? And how is it that one is both the Center of the Universe, and the Universe Itself?"

And the Great Cat did respond, "Thou shalt call Stephen Hawking if thou desirest to know the Mysteries of Physics. I am an Ascendant Master. Now shalt thou verily let me sleep, for it is daylight!"

Copyright © Baha Singh
May 4, 2006