Now it came to pass that the Prophet Jeff did part with the Girlfriend Elizabeth and she took it in mind to seek another who might serve with her as caretaker of the Great Cat in his bodily form of Friedrich Amadeus von Beethoven, who is also known in the world of fleshly beings as Fritzie. Nonetheless the Prophet Jeff did continue to love the Great Cat and forthrightly did obey His bidding to take unto himself a cat abandoned, whom the Prophet did name Sweetie; and the Prophet Jeff continued in the will of the Great Cat in providing much care and attention to Sweetie, and did lavish upon him much petting. And Sweetie did purr the Most Glorious Sound of Purr in the manner of the Great Cat, and did offer his good karma for benefit of those who live in the world of fleshly beings.

And it came to pass that the Prophet Jeff continued as messenger of the Great Cat.

And the Great Cat did speak and say unto him, "Know that I shall continue to guard and protect my caretaker who was once known as the Girlfriend Elizabeth with much diligence, as she guardeth me.

"For you shalt know, O Two-Legged One, that if one cometh unto me to feed me because he thinketh of my well-being before his own interest; or cometh unto me with the offering of catnip for my happiness with no selfish design; or doth pet me for to show his natural affection for living beings and not to show falsehood that he may satisfy base desires; to this man will I gladly bestow my presence, for he cometh with pure heart and respect for Myself and the Caretaker Elizabeth, who is to me as a mother.

"But such a man as is called a Yutz, or a Jerk, or a Pig Amongst Chauvinist Males, I will not suffer long in My presence. If such a one feed me, it is to impress Elizabeth whom I have taken as my mother, and not because I hunger. If such a man speaketh to me that he may hear a Meow, to him I shalt verily Hiss for he speaketh a lie and useth me in vain; and if such a one wouldst try to pet me, I shalt verily slap his hand from my bodily form, for that hand wouldst be a tool of harm in the end."

And it came to pass that the Great Cat did slap the hand of David and did hiss at Tom as well; and when Mitch did visit from the cold lands of the North, the Great Cat did cherish sore contempt in His heart, and did verily display The Sign of Scratching Litter Over the Shoes of the Loathed One; and thus did Elizabeth know that the Great Cat knew the secrets within the hearts of those who would not have been worthy of His presence.

And it came to pass that she did bring to the Place of the Great Cat the OneWho Is Named Buxees But Is Called Louis, and Louis did straightaway make haste to feed the Great Cat, who was sore hungry; and the Great Cat did bestow his approval upon this worthy man, for he did feed the Great Cat out of love for Him as a living being. And there was much joy that day, for verily did the Great Cat sing the Most Glorious Sound of Purr, for (sayest the Prophet Jeff) He did know that day that He met the man who was most worthy of being the very Father of the Great Cat, and the chosen of Elizabeth.

Copyright © Baha Singh
May 5, 2006