Desiree

"Toe Monster" is a name coined by a good on-line friend of mine, Cat Slave. She has a wonderful web site at www.geocities.com/RainForest/Canopy/3686 -- feel free to click on the link to visit her.

Basically a Toe Monster is a kitten - or cat if they never grow out of the stage - who delights in getting into every kind of mischief known to humans (or cats - but they call it "business"). A Toe Monster digs the stuffing out of the underside of box springs on your bed, climbs curtains, climbs your legs when you have shorts on, or strives to sit in your arms when you're trying to chat on the computer.

A Toe Monster chases anything moving. Dust Bunnies, bugs, feet walking across the floor, hands, and especially toes under the covers at night. Particularly if the human the toes belong to is still sleeping. Hence, the name Toe Monster.

I am blessed with a 4-month old Toe Monster named Desiree. A pastel calico with a huge purr & loud, vocal meow - she has a basically sweet personality until she sees toes (or fingers, food, milk). Then all is fair in cat love (or war).

Desiree basically goes by the concept "if it goes in your mouth, it belongs in mine." I'm still trying to teach her manners. She's still trying to teach me she doesn't NEED manners. (I think she's winning.)

My friend Cat Slave is blessed with TWO Toe Monsters - Argenteus & Artemis. They are adult Toe Monsters -- Cat Slave says she doesn't think she could have handled them as kittens. I can certainly say that Desiree is a Toe Monster extraordinare - I think she could give Cat Slave's 2 monsters lessons.

You probably have a Toe Monster, but didn't know what it was. Like Greebles, you just took it all for granted that cats are like that. But - there are some that strive for pure perfection in Hampering, Harassing and Hunting. This is the Toe Monster's credo. Do everything you can to get attention -- then look cute.

If you have a Toe Monster - bless you & keep the faith that someday your monster will calm down. If you don't have a Toe Monster - how sad -- they are loads of fun.

Copyright © Sandy Heglund
December 21, 1998